Watching Myself Add Fuel to the Fire

Finally, after clearly seeing these subsequent busy ideas roll in and cause delay after the initial will-program began (a line of hesitation and excuses, etc.), this was the perfect start I needed. As revs climbed in my motor, the sluggish weight of time in my pressurised thoughts made the gap feel terribly hard to close, to get to the ‘acted’.

I wanted to get it over and done with ASAP!

So how did I respond from here? Directly with more complication, as per usual. I thought more and more on how to close the gap!

I kept on finding MORE and MORE excuses to both BUY and SELL Time.

First, I started thinking — bad idea 😞. Next, I considered shifting the task to a later date. Following on, I’d also look for other quick ways to get to a new mental reward that made me feel good. Then finally, I got overwhelmed by both the sense of urgency to get the job done or moved up AND my resistance not to break habits.

Therefore, a combination of overlapping choice and direction made things all the more difficult to handle.

In a front line battle between action occurring in THOUGHT MODE ONLY –  as my potent mix of thinking,  up against any real role of playing out in my REALITY –  or in the real doing,  now can you guess which one prevailed nine times out of ten?

More thought, of course. My ‘will’ ultimately escaped the task as the sense of time amplified!

Do I Need a Gap for Thinking?

Again, either unnecessary energy got wasted from the get-go by crazy lovemaking with early rewards spent, and there was a lack of enthusiasm for actual liftoff. Or, in the closing of the gap, I grew anxious in another wastage. This was usually when I was about to strap in or had just strapped into the task.

And to think I could use time to think to my advantage to help produce better results, it wasn’t the brightest idea.

Time was never on my side!

By watching the cogs of time dominate and play trickery, I was able to by let go and increase my outward flow.

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