My nature is tamed by a vast library of programs derived from all previous encounters. However, as another result, life creates a significant overflow in a byproduct, I call, Weight or Dense Time. Weight is an invisible messy mind mass that complicates what should only be, a simple situation in life.
Now when it comes to lining up my will on a goal today, I see at least two challenges as Weight that stand before me.
The first one is, during the initial startup of will or when I’m at a distance from the activity, I’m known to reach in early for my reward in a Cash Advance. This lifelong habit of early-bird speculating destroys any real chance to bring it alive as my desire or motivation loses value down the line from being spent early.
And second, is, as I get closer to the actual leg work, objective ideas bombard in an attempt to lengthen the gap and keep it wide. My resistance, which tries to keep old comforts in place, overwhelms, making me weak. Therefore, the sense of time significantly compresses into my state as the task gets closer and closer.
I look for any excuse to wriggle out because it feels much better when I’m at a distance where I can speculate on the positive without any bother.
With a takeover now assured by these two well-developed hindrances that operate outside optimal settings, in problems that both overly Attract AND Repel, also overlapping, unfortunately, I’d barely move productively if at all back in the day. In fact, the tendency was, I’d create and aggravate a problem while convincing myself otherwise, I’m on a righteous path.
Seeing the Deeper Symmetry Activates the Will-Update Process
And to think that after many years of being in love with my will EXCEPT at arm’s length only, then have it flip when coming in close, could’ve all been saved from something as simple as acknowledging this. It now astounds me.
For once and thankfully, these stories that continue to spill (both ways ↕) aren’t so grabbing anymore.
My underlying desperations and pleas to buy more time. The numerous distractions that catch me off guard in any excuse. And also the variety of succulences from rewards given far too early, now no longer weighs down like previously. As these were all once WRAPPED PERFECTLY to protect me from the shackles of behavioural change since unsettling my comfort zone and habits were the most prominent issues to date.