The Weight of Foreign Influence


Let’s say I observe a distant foreigner moving closeby from my usual bag of prejudices. Now, the words ‘distant’ and ‘foreigner’ when put together fall under an undesirable type of abnormal from my programmed perspective. They add an alarming pressure to my survival instinct.

Immediately, uncertainty gives off fear in caution because I lack an understanding of the actual background of a person. Or in knowing the exact mental composition that puts a particular object together, outlining the ‘why’, etc.

Here goes my mind again!

I now see ‘him/her’ or ‘it’ as unpredictable, an unmapped entity or thing that potentially threatens my way. Or according to my beliefs/programming, I’d see someone or something extreme. When, in fact, he/she or it wasn’t.

Which, also means, the abnormal-version process stays outstanding and never makes it over to the boring-old-normal list, unlike in the reverse scenario, when the attraction was strong. Because when there had been an element of appeal, I’d happily make contact (to the point of exploiting) and this resulted in settling everything down. But when I felt resistance instead, I hadn’t and avoided ‘them’ or ‘it’ at all means possible.

Regrettably, such a response only leaves the psychological tap dripping, energy that could be saved and used for essential things.

{/Ending My Negative Powered Version of Normal}


Besides, I dare say the same interpretation would stick to the person viewing the telescope back onto me. Surely, since, I was bred here on this side and grabbed hold of a certain mixture of both local and broader chemicals made available to me (from both dimensions of psychological hand-me-downs & physical stimulants), composing me, then this bizarre fuel, AND LIFE, to others, would naturally go on to rationalise my normal version, within my small world. While also seriously ab-normalise it when putting large distances in between.

Perhaps now I’m the one who’s far, far from normal when viewed upon by great lengths as my shape, in particular, ended up the result of a kid who dived headfirst into stimuli (more so than others) after secretly extending his boundaries.

School Teachers, Neighbours and Police All Knew My Bad Behaviour

An earlier version of me turned into quite a handful and moulded into an extremist of some kind, but not in the religious sense. Within the fields of Science and Technology is where I put all my energy. Though unfortunately, I was overly cunning and destructive.

Well, in Science, I was obsessed with blowing things up. While in Tech, I enjoyed gaining unauthorised access and seeing things I shouldn’t.

Then, as I grew up, my internal voice naturally yelled louder and demanded a bigger bang each day.

Once all these fuels kicked in, that was it.  Nothing would stop me until I’d light myself up! 

Mental explosion

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