Influence & Normalisation

I hope this doesn’t put anyone too off, but I used to love making explosions back in the day (it does sound better than ‘making bombs’). I’d follow a few simple instructions on the new dark web and would Let Her Rip.

Explosion Boom!

Not only did I create a major outward spark, but inwardly, WOW. What a thrill, I remember. What a SPIKE in sensation!

It was the mid 90’s in a small coastal town hours from any major city, and things were relaxed. Thankfully on my watch, even though I was only 14, no one got hurt.


The Sparks of Life

Fierce chemical reactions

Chemical reactions continually fire off on the inside, and also, all around me. However, throughout life, many of these processes now appear plain, if not superordinary. Or I cannot zoom in close enough at the cellular level OR out far enough to a planetary perspective, to enjoy our spectacular fireworks that this wonderful world has on offer/display. Or if I do, I’ll definitely need to the right equipment!

Influence hitting the senses is what makes my world, My World. As all my input systems work together, the brain adapts, and I come to an overall feeling or sense known as a state. A State of Mind gained by the explosions from chemicals reacting all over the place. Including, from the also oddly and yet, a subtle field beyond the physical landscape that not everyone can sense.

But since many of these reactions have run over long periods, some over my entire life, I barely even notice the effects as each shake-up finally settled down, normalising into an everyday experience. In fact, these once-mighty spectaculars that no longer captivate, as events that spill from billions of years of life making and breaking,  I can’t help but now take it all for granted. 

From Satisfaction to Boredom

{From a Positive to Negative Charge on Normal}

During my speck-of-a-lifetime (compared to Earth’s), I’ve watched and felt my amazement and interest towards numerous things and aspects turn to less satisfaction and normalise. All while I veer off in the hunt for another toy to play with, more sugar to feed on. I’ve seen the less-than-normal, the abnormal and the seriously-above-normal multi-versions with each potentially carrying  a sense of appeal,  flex and mould into the default-normal I know of, with less. Or simply, the boring-old-normal.

Yes, both the less-than-normal and abnormal can also, intrigue; grab at my attention. Therefore, my take on ALL VERSIONS of normal nowadays, anything outside the bounds of normal (up/down/left/right), is extremely dynamic, broad and diverse as the appeal drains away and my attention that’s glued on the ‘thing’ or ‘aspect’ in question turns sour. Meanwhile, I simply hunt for something else to tap into and indulge in as my boring-old-normal junk list grows bigger.

{/Ending on a Negative Charge}

Powered by Fear!

{Now a Negative Start on Normal}

Also, it goes both ways and starts on a negative charge, obviously, as my attention immediately repels against something that pops up and I head elsewhere as a result. Because, just as each version can intrigue/attract, others carry the undesirable, on another side. Now a fierce sense of resistance flares up in my fears.

Unfortunately, what I can’t turn into a taste and it stays terrible, or I can’t neutralise halfway, as I feel a certain representation or behaviour causing elevated pressures and anxiety, from either some ‘thing’ or ‘one’ (symbol or person) potentially taking from me or hurting/belittling me in any way possible (physical or ego), tormenting narratives and images now take over the show.

Great, I’m stuck on a repulsive powered normal which makes me feel queasy/uneasy! 😒

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