After racking up a squillion dirty frequent flyer points, thinking it was normal my entire life, I left behind a massive trail of footprints from walking and talking $#!T (a physical & mental mess).
I threw rubbish everywhere, across various fragments and zones because I was an absolute mess of a person who’d lost his way or never had it. I DIDN’T CARE ABOUT ANYONE, including myself! Over my lifetime of constant-escaping, these ignorances finally caught up and formed into a larger cluster, or a super-zone called a Shattered State.
And it didn’t matter where I turned because every aspect got hit. Overwhelming conflict in dense thinking took over (reflecting my rubbish back onto me), leaving barely any room for an escape. Conditioned to extreme ends and almost always drowned in neurotics, I’d move around what small openings I could in my Willy-Wonka’d World.
Also, when I was able to pull off another super short-lived escape that kept on shortening, in desperation, I’d attach myself to the illusion and beg to stay! This contrast gives a HUGE RELIEF, and no one in their right mind would want to leave!
But, as usual, reality ripped it away and dragged me back into my problems again.
Therefore in the long term, I’m made to pay for ignorances.
A Shattered State Indicates a Mind That’s Stuck and Is Desperately Seeking an Order
Next up, I unravel my understanding of things.