I could explain the many segments, clusters and zones I live in with each justifying its existence upon my visit. But I won’t because it’ll be too long. Instead, to keep things simple, I’ll stick with unravelling the two categories from the poles.
My narrative can be an emotional drainer, so I’ll step away from him as much as I can. I’ll now look only at the distinct negative and positive fluctuations that are miles apart. Yet are also closer than I think as I can (at times) immediately teleport from one mood to the next, and enter a new scene.
First, are my heavier fragments, and these contain higher than usual pressures and stress. As psychological space retreats from a previous escape and I’m left touching my problem/challenge, or if something from the outside pounced in by surprise, my thinking goes in overdrive; things heat up fast. But, as per usual, instead of dealing with my issues by staying in contact, I’m conditioned to re-escape shortly after and worry about them later.
The Later Loop
Only after intense crawling in the mind-mud where time feels amplified/longer, am I then able to make my way over to shelter nestled on the other end, aka the lighter fragment. In my relief, I’ve again added another cosy layer of Prime Real Estate Space around my centre and feel relaxed — less constricted.
Retreating to a lite zone relievingly offers shielding from the harsher internal reality or my perceived painful world. And even though it is always only ever short-lived, since at one stage I’d travel multiple times an hour, if not, minutes, I’m just happy that for right now (or while I’m there), I’m chilled. I’m moving freely without excess weight holding me down.
So without ever digging deeper into my issues and finding a strong enough reason to reduce my overall stay in a sanctuary that served me so instantly over the years (my lighter fragment frequent stopover), I’d still be there now. I’d return when given a chance!
Luckily, however, I found a solid reason and uncovered the bigger bite behind ‘short-term’.
Short term fix = Long term repayment. So much for the 1up… 😞