Yet the reality is… I’m conditioned to stretch beyond.
From what I’ve learnt so far, in order to exit this consuming Desire Complex, I first have to approach the issue with a little bit of simplicity in mind (not too much otherwise it turns complicated). Then, I allow a simple see-and-react motion to do its thing, untangle and strip away the costly habits.
For instance, I would see this entire structure unravel, including any potential swing-back from a forceful AGAINST idea suppressing my conditioned-desires. Because, whenever I aggressively counter a strong impulse, this loads up another surprise where I usually give in to a greater desire to make up for the loss of sensation.
Again, what more can be said? Other than, my habits LOVE to rule and will always get paid, either above or below the surface!
Then finally from within this deep observation of what is occurring, is my opportunity to react simply. Naturally, on auto-pilot.
Powered by new insight, rather than these controlling thoughts that processed on every other occasion, I detect and let go of hindrances far more effectively. I see my desires always running around upstairs exceeding their weight, and I gift myself a subtle release instead.
Compartmentalising My Old Desires
Earlier, when I was lost and tried to fix my potent desires (ideas of mass exploitation, world domination, etc.), I looked at a whole range of information from my peers (both the dead and living). ‘Control’ is what nearly all of them said. Which, in one sense, makes sense. They offered proven programs that worked by polarising/stabilising each urge and response. And all I had to do was to follow them if I was to achieve a better-desired outcome over my current out-of-control desires.
In other words, I had to knock em into place.
But at first, I thought, if I really want freedom from my uglier desires, I have to force new thoughts into play while ignoring contradicting urges. That’s if I want the job done fast. But behind that suppressive idea or countermeasure showing up as balance on the ‘Good’ set of books only, was just another hidden desire in a workaround. Instead, I’d only fooled myself into thinking otherwise because the ugly one was still there lurking.
Ideally, I wanted everyone to think I had changed my ways by using a fresh and more appropriate set of replacements to fill in. Except the truth was, I didn’t want to lose the sensations from the old, as I was an old-addict simply trying to blend in. I wanted my desires to become better or more socially refined in appearances, so I could satisfy everyone else while continuing to exploit the usual fuels below.
Whether it is the physical or mental world, supply always meets demand because the same rules apply!