Willpower 💪

From the beginning, I’ve always had trouble channelling my willpower efficiently. However, today, I feel that I have finally grown alongside this player in the sense that it is needed far less than ever. For once, I’m not gripping on as tight or forcing things in place as I used to all the time.

While in a previous habit, not only was willpower involved, but it was forever jammed in my face by both myself AND others.

I need willpower to do this and that! And… Lee, use your willpower and get it done! Etc.
Mental Might!

The Push

When I use my willpower in the traditional sense, I force my behaviour along a particular line using increased pressures from behind my ideas. Otherwise, without this, I might end up doing a sloppy job, or I could quickly turn away from my goals.

But as you may be aware by now, traditions aren’t my strong point. And, these poor outcomes were almost always guaranteed no matter what way I used my will. Which brings me over to a new approach on the issue, with the ‘less of it the better’, fresh attitude. Especially when dealing with an odd type of mind that cannot get things right from the start; i.e., the weaker mind I once carried.

Now, let’s say I need my willpower to complete a task ahead… Why do I continue to burden myself with a function that I have recently worked out comes with such a Heavy Background? Why do I allow the voice of an enforcer to override the voices of my creativity and inspiration?

As the sales pitch increases with all the hype and promises, I immediately sign up to a new contract. It is now my will to do this great thing! However, when it comes time to pay up with my ill-equipped will, I get chased down by a debt collector to whom I feed excuses to.

For example, in the case of a  juicy reward  that creates a willed-idea, a build-up of persuasive mind chatter at the beginning (a pro-force) eventually draws in objecting or resistant thoughts (an against-force) when it comes time to pay the bill with ‘action’! Which, IN TOTAL, bottles up pressure on the inside, while any potential forward/productive movement fails to get released into the real world.

You see, when driven by a reward and not punishment, I felt the appeal dominate only in the beginning, or when at a distance from the actual task. But as usual, things wouldn’t stay this way for long and resistance soon took over as time closed in.

** Please note that avoiding a punishment can also amount to a reward!

Fizzling Out Before Take-Off

Will-by-Appeal Protocol

Here are the two main reasons for RESISTING AN ACTIVITY when powered by Will-by-Appeal as the task came closer to my reality:

  1. There was energy deprivation from either physical or psychological exhaustion. I was too tired, in a bad mood, or the prospect felt heavier than normal in an energy-related matter, usually from condensed thinking. Also, there was a good chance that my exhaustion came from premature positivity. Or, it was when I delved into the reward early and got hungover, that I soon felt the resistance.
  2. My theoretical movements weren’t ingrained or practised in the outer world yet. They hadn’t set in or there was no existing pattern established. The necessary action felt foreign. The move went against the grain of my habits, which then sparked hesitation and more conflict. Immediately, I’d way up the odds to see if it was even worth continuing with: i.e., my energy gets taken by second-guessing myself, reevaluating things, etc.’

Whether for reasons of pleasure-seeking or in my attempt to avoid fear yet again (Will-by-Fear Protocol, the other of the two motivators), I’d try my best to follow these directives that were pushing towards an objective.

By using an effort to align the physical to meet with the mental roadmap laid out (which is ‘will’ in a nutshell via the conscious demand function), I was under the impression that this was the only logical thing to do, and I had to see it thru.

So from the idea powered up by ‘my will’, an aggressive/highly-combustible force, I’d reach thru my inside world to get to a TREAT on the outside. Or at very least, this was my everyday attempt.

Carrot reward
So close… Yet, so far away.

Previous | Home | Next: The Will of a Young Boy