After racking up a squillion dirty frequent flyer points thinking it was normal my entire life, I left behind a massive trail of footprints from walking and talking $#!T (both physical & mental waste).
I threw rubbish everywhere, across various fragments and zones in my world because I was an absolute mess of a person who’d lost his way or never had it.
I didn’t care about anyone, including myself!
Over my lifetime of constant-escaping, these ignorances finally caught up and formed into a larger cluster, or a super-zone called a Shattered State.
And it didn’t matter where I turned because every aspect was affected.
Overwhelming conflict in dense thinking took over and life threw rubbish back, leaving barely any room to escape. Conditioned to extreme ends and almost always drowned in neurotics, I’d move around what small openings I could in my Willy-Wonka’d World.
Also, when I was able to pull off another super short-lived escape that kept on shortening, in desperation, I’d attach myself to the illusion and beg to stay! This contrast gives a HUGE relief. No one in their right mind would want to leave!
But as usual, reality ripped it away and dragged me back into my problems again.
Therefore in the long term, I’m made to pay for ignorances.
A Shattered State indicates a mind that’s stuck and is desperately seeking an order
Seeking an Order
Next up, I unravel my understanding of things.