When the outside world makes considerable contact and enters my system, either from other people’s thoughts firing my way or by elemental and material forces pressing in (food, touch, light, etc.), then the same thing happens. Chemical reactions in my brain cause a noticeable sensation, and I’d either want more or less of it, projecting potential scenarios to reach my goal.
This built-in touch and project (cause and effect) mechanism I’ve always operated in (although, ‘simple’ mode had left the building many years ago) is quite easy to understand, now that I have enquired deep enough. But it was these heavier ongoing mental processes I’d find hard to manage as the echo of the past kept gripping my psyche regardless of any type of future contact I made with life.
At one stage of my life, neither sitting in a quiet garden or park, or perhaps even laying on the beach would produce enough of the calming effects needed to pull myself back together. Unfortunately, nature couldn’t get anywhere close to me as there was too much heat and smoke taking over upstairs! The next best thing… I had to get to the mechanics asap for a once in a lifetime tune-up.
You see, it didn’t matter what methods I tried using from the outside world to cool things down as this well-fuelled internal blaze was totally out of my control! Unfortunately, a quiet room meant absolutely nothing as shards of the past had infused into new wild projections of my future and this released large amounts of mental energy. But mainly, it was only internally, unfortunately. Thus creating an internal reactor that not even God himself could control.
In layman’s terms, I was stuck on yesterday, the year before, along to tomorrow and the next year, being haunted and taunted in a bad time machine as though it were all a real-time setting.
My emotionally-charged memories and the refinements that came from them got stuck in a loop. They followed me everywhere regardless of whatever lighter distractions I came into contact with.
The Emotional-Echo That Follows an Experience Tied in With Fear
My perceived traumas, along with my life-long conditioning that deals with them (aka my background and set-ways), had together become an obstacle I didn’t know how to deal with. Sadly, trying to turn everything off only heightened the negative effects in the long run.
Sure, there were moments when I could instantly suppress my negative perception during a short ‘ad break’ by throwing in a pleasantry or two, using a mixture of desirable thoughts, sugar and other ingredients to create a positive sensation.
But rest assured, it wasn’t long before that broken record returned with its usual track playing the same old tune, except it was always that little notch louder.
Decades of environmental, cultural, traditional, technological and social exposures shaped my mind, thru a vast range of stimulation, into a busy factory with each program moving along a conveyor belt, whether I liked it or not.
And when all caught up in the thick of things, it’s nearly impossible to see the process, let alone learn from it and dissolve it altogether. Plus, my relationships, in general, are usually aligned with other people who hold the same level of echo, except they are wrapped up in their own stories. Which means, to us, this common strain appears as a normal part of life.
Everything becomes normal (normalises) over the course of events!