Nowadays, however, understanding the belief complex or the God Complex as an object of my affection and authority has made an enormous impact on life. Or God as a system of thought (traditionally) since he/she/it clearly excludes the negative by separating from the devil/fear: i.e., an existence without fruit — only, sour 🤢. Of course, both guys/poles must take turns at running the show. We live on a Bi-polar Rock!
Each opposite is ENTIRELY dependent on the other (one leverages the other)!
So, thankfully, from my solid acknowledgement of NO higher power found on either side of the pole; otherwise I’d only end up juggling between the ends at a cost, seeing this pendulum meant less conflict and stronger relationships in my everyday life. And for once, I’m on steady ground.
Whereas previously, or when I first stepped outside conventions, I got stuck many lightyears away (tho I’ve now made my way halfway back). I GLUED myself to this chaotic outlook in a heavy narrative that overwhelmed every aspect of my existence. So for a short while, I had little-to-no hope running frantically through my veins and lived inside fear in an almost fulltime drained position .
Any other short-lived time, I was either high or tranced out on something or another.
People Often Asked, How the Heck Did You Make It From Zombyville?
A Lost Cause
So at one stage, when I was so dulled down in bad foods, chemicals and thoughts, barely knowing my left from right, not even God himself could have saved me.
I wanted everything to fall in place in terms of finding a higher power to hold onto and learn from. Except, the reality was, I was still too caught up in refining my thoughts. I kept relying on strong short term rewards out of certain words, symbols and images I’d recklessly fallen in love with. That is, on top of the heavier chemicals I also enjoyed.
Maintaining my dull and tranced-out escape driven mind was the biggest priority in life, and my God was wherever these conversions laid.