Once riddled, but no more. Thank God!
When Reality Served Back a Dose, I Joined the Resistance
So after being all caught up in my own silly story, and when life returned a well-packaged surprise inside a psychological crisis over a ledger of misdeeds I couldn’t write off (I went nuts from karma), something changed, and I forever woke up. My once backward beliefs that built up too much pressure could not be contained, so I imploded landing into a new state of being. All of a sudden, I flipped across to a severe opposing view on a destructive society (instead of encouraging one), confusing the heck out of everyone!
I went from one extreme of ego (the dark side) to the next (light angel side) and aligned myself within what’s known as the Counterculture. This bizarre new style of living went against nearly all forms of destruction and consumption. Fortunately, I now realize that this way is too far left and impractical. It’s a long story that is hard to piece together, although I’m trying my best to summarise.
Now, to seclude myself and become riddled in paranoia and also to avoid treading on every bug and critter while boxing myself in a hermit lifestyle, was a recipe for disaster if I were to stay in this state for too long. My very existence inside a human nest demands death and destruction. And a smaller stronger nest within this broad nest, which in my case, is a modern-nest, puts on an even higher demand. It undoubtedly includes MORE pressures on my distant neighbours in other lands.
However, since I was out of sorts and also brand new to this major polar shifting business, I thought I could stamp out every destructive trait I held while making myself holy and respectable in the process. Therefore I clung on to this light as much as I possibly could.
Besides, who wouldn’t when life slaps back a special package?
What Does the Word MODERN Say?
It says, a lifestyle of greater space, mobility and comfort at the cost of blood, sweat and tears from our ancestors (Thank You 🙏🏻). Although, I’ve only ever lived in the modern world and have no way to compare it to anything else. Other than what my programming or idea of non-modernism tells me through images, or from what other people have recreated on TV. Oh, and perhaps most importantly, along with a fortunate small glimpse into the outskirts of reality thru a hidden journey the archons dragged me down when I wasn’t at my best. In a secret, sucky-wormhole sort of way. 😲
Either way, now that I’m aware of my actions having a rippling effect that travels outside my sheltered reality and towards the non-modern nests, let alone the impact I place on both the Animal and Plant Kingdoms, then it only makes sense that the very least I do is consider this.
As a grown-up Virgo (♍ = someone who at one stage annoyed the crap out nearly everyone! Bahahaha), there’s no way in hell I’m leaving behind excess/outstanding tabs anymore. Especially since any unreasonable demands for energy and waste that follow end up there.
Hell, if I’m going to kill, destroy or displace some ‘thing’, ‘one’ or ‘animal’ in the name of creativity, tradition, love or survival, then why not at least own it? I could potentially save a hassle down the track by naturally reducing and optimising, or my interest could veer elsewhere.
What has helped is I’ve asked myself… Lee, how can you expect your world to evolve when you can’t even see your own destructive hand?