I’m only fooling myself by not asking the important questions… My perceived counterparts left me in a pickle and until I perceive a sense of total resolution, I’ll keep hunting my mind for mechanisms of control to apply on the outside world.
Taming in my world definitely came at the cost of a complete meltdown. It only arrived after experiencing a massive build-up of conflict from all the overthinking and underperforming in my life. This unwholesome pressure, which divided my mind into uneven mental-clusters, thrived because of my ignorance towards the endless loop of desirable and undesirable experiencing that I was always caught up in. Fortunately, since I have now found my balance in between, I can confidently tell you that I’ll never go back to the outskirts again or to an untamed space.
But even to this day, I still wouldn’t consider myself 100% tamed in terms of rational thinking. It’s more like… I’m somewhat or semi tamed. I’m a better person with a reasonably sharp mind compared to the defects I had to deal with not long ago.
You see, here’s the thing…
I do feel some underlying problems remaining. Throughout the day, I feel sporadic remnants of an oppressive condition and it’s taking forever to purify these annoying clusters into nothingness, hoping to decondition myself once and for all.
I must purify the mind and body to lighten my load… I keep saying in a Virgo Way, while I also consider forming a robust, New-Age Purification Task Force.
Or perhaps I once again simply invested too much energy into an Opposing Ideal on the backend in another sneaky fragment called… The Purifier. The influence of this burning or fierce nature deeply urges me to become MUCH BETTER than my current condition, but by using the old habit to conquer everything I see in the way with theoretical impunity! However today, I’m inclined to take a practical New-Age, non-gory approach and continue with a level of discretion as part of a long term plan.
Create a large catchment first using influence of a greater nature. Then… and only after my grip on power is established shall I destroy everything impure, but without all the carnage (hence, New-Age). In time, I, along with my world… will remain pure.
Yes, I’m past the bulk of my problems. But today, I still experience compression between ideas which does frustrate.