A heads up, I write crap below. It’s the type you’ll either find fascinating or never go near again.
A Long Distance Call on My Very Last Dollar
Without getting into specifics, I played with the underground throughout my 20’s and conditioned myself destructively. Then by the time I hit 30, I thought I’d had enough and tried pulling the pin. Which incidentally, messed with something much, much deeper and I deservedly got stung.
Following on and in a bad way, I had no choice but to scan the periphery with every ounce of my looking power for help. Utterly desperate, I had to get back onto ANY track, except for the one I entrenched myself in since disrupting a bitey nest who didn’t like a broken system.
Also, the conventions or rule of law who weren’t used to being bent of place, these guys weren’t impressed with me either for the trail I had left behind. Yet they too had their hands tied in this complicated situation! So there was an angry nest along with the rule of law/conventions who both had a new headache. And then there was me… in a crippled way.
Immediately, I was frowned upon as a new threat carrying a trojan and a severe pain in the butt living in two worlds of paperwork. Therefore, I had an unavoidable mega-challenge in my face and entered into a new phase of double-life-ism that I certainly wasn’t ready for! It’s a pickle like none other when bouncing between an invalid on the one end from toxins to a shark on the other. Talk about being split straight down the middle and lightyears apart from everyone!
An Affirmation to the Rescue!
Just stay in the light, Lee. Whatever little glow or speckle there is.
Luckily, within this tight psychological enclosure that eventually antagonised because of an ACTUAL pain in the neck and head from years of condensed fear that turned into anger, came the solution. From years of ongoing higher bio and neurochemical activity that altered every aspect about me while the majority of people had no idea (they are not the sharpest tools in the shed), something answered my call.
Odd Help From Abroad?
So after toying with death on more than a few occasions, I soon realised… hey, I’m equipped with things way beyond my comprehension. I was born with a built-in sorcery system and somehow its next level activated to help me out of most of my hole.
A prime directive to survive stronger influences within the community (and inside my head) enacted deeper functions. Don’t ask me how, precisely, but I would somehow gear up and call upon various mediums from both within the gates, and beyond. Until finally one day, I made my way to where I am now — sanity!
And if it weren’t for my previous clandestine skills that kicked off at 8 years old, I definitely wouldn’t be here mindlessing today. So I have to thank God for that!