I now realise that only a small number of people alive today have left a considerable mark on my world through their examples of behaviour. It’s the broader field of signals from the disembodied that comprise the bulk of the taming influence on my life. However, once I wrapped my head around these influences, from both the living and the departed, I discovered the main lesson they were teaching me was what NOT to do in life.
What can I say? Other than things changed, and I started seeing thru another set of eyes. Now an ever-growing percentage of human behaviour automatically looks ‘backwards’ to me! To be honest, I wish my perspective would not register this as much and go back a few notches closer to where it used to be.
However, in order to restore capacity from my state of incapacitation back in the day meant that I had to pull out some serious smarts over the years, or do something, anything, to change my direction onto a better path. The truth is, because of my existential crisis, I see the dead as vibrantly alive these days, and that’s where my undivided attention is focussed. Every belief system, social tradition, and even most of the music we listen to comes from folks who are no longer on this plane of existence. Thus, I find I’m more focussed on how the narrative shaped and polarised within a mind, rather than on those following in the footsteps of the left/right narrative, or what I like to call ‘the walking dead’ as they are the living embodiment of those departed souls who created and worshipped the traditions in the first place. Nowadays, it’s the odd message in a bottle that I love finding and piecing together, not the din of a recited narrative that constantly fills my ears.
As a result of this incredibly unique combination of influences, my attention now faces inwards towards the mechanical aspect of Me–Myself–&–I. I heard a deeper voice who kept repeating… ‘Lee, you need to look at yourself closely’. So I did, and it stung because I didn’t like what I saw. And even though I turned away a few times in the beginning out of my usual fears, denial, pride, etc., I would always come back to listen to what the invisible had to say.
Listening at another level or field is what led to my steady ground today.
The Importance of the ‘Walking’ as Well
The Walking, in general, have also significantly helped and without them I would be stuffed. It’s just that… I get frustrated at times as they carry on with things that have very little meaning anymore, and it’s hard work keeping up with them. No one gave me the time to resolve my issues back then (nor were they even aware of just how deep those issues really were), so my mind is elsewhere, as I have severely deviated from the path.
In fact, I would say I’m reacting quite normally under the circumstances. After all, I was left with no choice whatsoever but to fortify myself in another reality by compartmentalising my life.