Since I once found it difficult to understand things that others would usually breeze through, I had to write this. It’s time to close the gap between an unconventional and traditional way of learning/absorbing.
When I first see how things or aspects are put together that are of interest, by watching the relationship between processes, I come to an understanding or a knowing.
The feeling it gives is that something internal is unlocked and broadened, or an insight strengthens thru a sense of expansion and superiority. Rushing in is a wave of overall satisfaction from learning something interesting for the first time.
Ah, yes… Stimulation that destroys the barriers surrounding my small limited self.
Till one or two minutes later…
Space to Understand
Although I naturally store records of all played events that come with my ability to rebroadcast for whatever reasons, I find that nowadays, I’m less inclined to return to the library once I’ve understood something. I learnt that these Picture + Audio on-demand files don’t get any clearer by continually grabbing on and replaying them over and over.
Because whenever I had jammed on the ‘repeat’ switch glueing myself to the screen, which at one stage was ‘the norm’ and I couldn’t detach no matter what I’d try, that is when I became most susceptible to a distortion taking over. My perception could easily mix things up from here, throwing the entire line of understanding whatever I’m looking at totally out of synch.
More Pieces to the Puzzle…
Let’s say, I felt I had missed something important during the experience, or I skimmed over information leading in or out too fast from a dodgy recording. Naturally, the next time I pull information from this scene, I’d grab hard into my memory, desperately looking for a missing part. I would attempt to ‘re-experience’ the same sensations that triggered the initial insight or knowing while hoping to gain something more.
I’ve spent much of my life re-examining the slides that I wanted to either extend, expand or learn further on from.
But unfortunately, nothing ever measured up quite like the original experience or the first rush of sensation that poured in and I’d barely learn anything else or more, on top. Was I missing something important?
This Made Me Wonder…
What’s really going on up there?
Am I simply attached to these near-duplicate greater understanding sensations while thinking something of value got left out during Round 1 in the live recording?
Should I keep hunting and extracting MORE of this knowing/feeling (explosive insight material) in the hope of unlocking the next piece of the puzzle, as I’m able to quickly and easily cash in on ‘repeat stimulation’ by cloning the event in my mind. Like, theatre?
Or was I simply learning not much else and only adding an extra delay to any potential revelation, by distorting whatever’s in front with a dirty or busy memory filter?
Hrmm, yes… The deep-deep travelled to another level.