Fortunately today, Mindlessing is a lot simpler. It is about seeing my internal pressures mount and from that comes a quality beyond conventions that helps lessen or reduce the overactive or anxious aspect (heavy/default mind) that affects my everyday life.
I’ve essentially allowed a natural balance to air things out over the long run, instead of always trying to STABILISE my ups and downs by burning and churning these picturesque ideas and ideals for short term relief only. Now that I’ve worked out what they’re all about!
In the past, I relentlessly pulled on the positives since I was without a greater understanding of my lifelong conditioning that circled in highs and lows, sometimes neurotically. But luckily not long after (and not long ago), that was all about to change.
So Staying Positive Isn’t Always Healthy?
In my mind – yes, because I get carried away. An overcompensation comes in, takes over, and I eventually land straight back in the mud again. Because, too much ‘+’ only strengthens the ‘-‘ on the backend, loading up the next round in the chamber (an awaiting problem).
Today, I’ve discovered that the ‘less’ part of the mindless word is energised from beyond the gates of thought and implies a deeper understanding or angle, unlike traditional/mindful roles which usually relied on positivity in a short story to temporarily massage the default mind away.
Once totally realising the fact I live in a heavily polarised world along with everyone else, it only made sense that these positives I’m talking about, were always tied in with the negatives. Sure I could instantly put on a happy show for everyone when needed and without too much fuss like I was on call. But the reality was, while being positive, I had trouble holding it. And when it did leave the scene, I’d simply want it back and would start demanding more!
In a steady orbit around my seasonal circle of drama of either minutes, hours or days of loop, years of increased spin in my world created this strong PSYCHO-MAGNETIC FIELD.
At one stage, I conditioned myself extremely — super demanding, turning into a Class Act Zombie 🧟. Not moderately or lightly, as I wish I had only after getting up from what I consider being mentally KO’d. 👊Damn! I’m still far too gone to be saved, I remembered thinking only recently. You can ask anyone close to me how out of whack I got over the years; I couldn’t be found! In my world, either I was stuck on these hardcore negatives, or they were never too far away and about to sideswipe.
First, I’d cop a demand or two, to get things started. Then, soon after, life flipped the positive scene in some way shape or form, and things fired at me, while I’d also try my best to handle it quietly. The fact was, I’d show the world my positives or an above neutral state, but exported most of the negatives to myself only, day-in, day-out.
So really, I was an out of whack battery finally wanting to flow.