Fortunately, Mindlessing is now a lot simpler to understand. It is about seeing my internal pressures mount, which from that comes a greater quality beyond conventional psychology that helps lessen or reduce the overactive or anxious aspect (heavy/default/typical mind) that affects my everyday life.
I have essentially allowed a natural balance to air things out over the long run, instead of always trying to STABILISE my ups and downs by churning and burning these picturesque ideas and ideals for short term relief only. Now that I have worked out what they are all about!
In the past, I relentlessly pulled on the positives since I was without a greater understanding of my lifelong conditioning that circled in highs and lows, sometimes neurotically. But luckily not long after, which was also not long ago, that was all about to change.
So Staying Positive Isn’t Always Healthy?
In my mind… yes, because I can get carried away. An overcompensation comes in, takes over, and I eventually land straight back in the mud again. Because, too much [+] will only strengthen the [-] on the backend, loading up the next round in the chamber, otherwise known as the upcoming problem. (An upcoming problem is a current problem).
Today, I have discovered that the ‘less’ part of the mindless word is energised from beyond the gates of thought and it implies a deeper understanding or angle, unlike traditional/mindful roles which usually rely on positivity in a short story to temporarily massage the heavier mind away.
Once totally realising the fact that I live in a heavily polarised world along with everyone else, it only made sense that these positives I’m talking about were always tied in with the negatives. Sure, I could instantly put on a happy show for everyone when needed and without too much fuss like I was on call. But the reality was, while I was being positive, I had trouble holding it. And when it did leave the scene, I would simply want it back and started demanding more of it!
In a steady orbit around my seasonal circle of drama in either minutes, hours or sometimes days of loop, years of increased spin in my world created this strong Pyscho-Magnet Presence.
At one stage, I conditioned myself to be extreme — super demanding, turning into a Class Act Zombie 🧟♂️. Not moderately or lightly, as I wish I had only after getting up from what I consider being… mentally KO’d. 👊
Damn! I’m still too far gone to be saved, I remember thinking only recently. You can ask anyone close to me how out of whack I got over the years as I couldn’t be found! In my world, either I was stuck on these hardcore negatives, or they were never too far away and about to sideswipe me.
My Unavoidable Entanglement
First, I would cop a demand or two to get things started. Then soon after, life flipped the positive scene in some way, shape or form, and things fired at me while I would try my best to handle it quietly.
The fact was, I’d show the world my positives or an above neutral state, while exporting most of the negatives to myself only, day-in and day-out.
So really, I was an out of whack battery finally wanting to flow.