Q. Is ‘being mindless’ about reducing my internal pressure to an optimal level?
A. Yes and no. It’s complicated. First, I’ll start with the ‘no’ part.
Let’s Slowly Uncomplicate the Situation
<Begin: Identification Complex>
First, I don’t want to be an idea and conform to its content, which is what I do when I attach myself to an idea.
By becoming ‘something’, in this case ‘Mindless’, I’m attaching my energy to the content inside an idea, thereby identifying with the idea itself. Consequently, this opens up the gates for a likely bombardment of other thoughts that can easily inflate/worship my new identity OR deflate/destroy it on the other end.
What I noticed was that when the ‘inflate’ side played out, which I usually didn’t mind as I became king of the mountain, the other side, namely the ‘deflate’ side, wasn’t too far away. Straight away this was problematic since it meant I was about to be cast down to the bottom of the barrel! And what made this trauma even more frustrating was when people broke my sacred religion, causing my ego to come crumbling down as my sacred altar was smashed and my holy-home devastated.
So, the short answer is no.
No, I don’t want to be anything (or if I must, I’ll be as little as possible) since my energy gets consumed in a mix of unnecessary positive and negative fluctuations, which ultimately affect my behaviour. Sure, I would love all the positive sensation, but not at the cost of the crippling resistance gripping my mind now that I’m aware of what is going on.
Untangling From the Idea
So, no to me being ‘mindless’ or anything, which means not identifying, attaching and conforming as much; i.e., not worshipping and defending mental images in this competitive unreal world we all share. Unfortunately, we all now live in a world where everyone fights for control over the narrative in a game-like environment. We highlight only certain important features for our own benefit, while suppressing or deflecting from the other undesirable or weaker parts in order to gain the overall advantage. In some cases, I’ve seen a major skill involved in the playing of this game. But this isn’t a game I want to play anymore.
Keeping my trance-like state returning numerous times a day as the narrative played and replayed used to be the number one priority in my life. It was the only thing in the world that made me feel alive and free. And when one is completely spellbound by this magnetic/appealing state of ‘tranced or enhanced-self’ or literally, my ‘self-hypnosis’ (seriously… what else can it be called?), one is more susceptible and sensitive to the negative projectiles from either what I or someone else shoots back in the consequential thinking — also known as the attacking overflow of unnecessary information.
Yes, that’s right! If it wasn’t someone else attacking me with their stronger features that I found extremely painful when compared to certain aspects of mine, I was the one tearing my identity apart in an internal war I had created just after the peak of my trancing. Or when I had just depleted my positive fuel reserves only to then start burning through on the negative fuel instead.
‘Glory’, when it goes beyond a practical dose in my daily usage (if such a dose exists), is a process that does me no good and gets in the way of me being more switched on.
You see when I’m heavily invested in the realm of imagination and someone attacks my mindless ‘home’, ‘symbol’ or ‘bible’, or finds a crack in it, or shows me something stronger in their idea making factory (and they will!), I’ll spend considerable energy plugging-up the perceived flaws in my mental bastion. I’ll continuously fix it, protect it, hold it up and cherish it so I don’t get hurt anymore. Not to mention all the rockets that I’ll fire off towards their story in my retaliation.
So as the idea gets hurt, I’M HURT! Can’t you see that this is what ‘identifying’ is capable of? By getting carried away, ‘grossly identifying’ is responsible for becoming an energy sucker. Nowadays, however, I’m confident when I say that I’m not as affected by the running narrative in my community urging me to be more of this or more of that. Thank God for that!
All up, what I realised was that whenever I had overly glorified things and aspects in the past I left myself open to being called out on the items I neglected or ignored (my weaker parts). And when these insecurities rose to the surface and got exposed, I would instantly run away from them. This would invariably bring me shame and disgrace while my whole world came crashing down.
Not only that, but I also realised that years of ‘overwhelming sensation’ turned my psyche into a junkie and I got all knee jerky against any information that threatened to take my title away from me, disrupting my usual flow. Therefore, all these heavy mental layers built-up making me weaker and weaker as time went on! In order to avoid such undesirable states in the future I knew I had to free myself from this inferior programming.
All my life, I was told that my power was in identifying. But it’s so far from the truth in another backward revelation!
<End: Identification Complex>
Simplifying My Identification Process
Let’s go over everything one more time…
Again, I’m no longer interested in continuing my old-ways where the mechanical nature of my mind incessantly over-inflates words, symbols and images that are claimed as an extension of me. And all for what? It’s for the same old roundabout thing! It’s for my usual reward of psychological stimuli (mind candy) that will soon flip to fear.
Ok, this will be our very last go-over…
Within this habit or complex of extracting the positive from my identity which makes me feel worthy, the reward which is supposed to move me forward in my life gets bypassed and the energy is redirected straight into my ego, causing it to inflate and I fly off on a stale high. Then… or not long after, things shatter into pieces as something inside me gets hurt and I come crashing down. Therefore I end up moving every which way except forward.
Or you can say that I am weakened over the long run by taking these inflated/enhanced associations of both myself and others way too seriously. I give away too much of my power for no good reason. But mistakenly, I see a good reason 😕!
At the end of the day, my energy gets clogged up in a cycle, and I worship PLUS defend all these words/symbols/representations to death, destroying any real value that could be used to improve my life.
However… Now Comes the Yes Part! (Finally).
Therefore, the simple message is… Don’t take ‘being mindless’ seriously. Otherwise, I’ll put unnecessary pressures on my mechanics by becoming attached. Because if it’s not one idea, it’ll be another, another and another.
Perhaps ‘living mindlessly’ or ‘I’m mindlessing’, or just ‘lessing-along-in-life’… is the better way to put it. It conveys a message not to be taken seriously.