When a story doesn’t end properly or is left outstanding with an element of the unknown, which in this case translates into immense fear, then I stay waiting for a resolution. My mind instinctively thinks on and on in distaste causing unusual levels of biochemical and neurochemical activity from over-scanning every aspect of life. As a result, I continuously try to find order among the chaos no matter how long it takes because that is the demand of my disrupted system taking a story far too seriously.
From a place of conflict and disturbance, where my exhausted mental state continues dragging things out many years on (no doubt, part Virgo to blame), I find it’s these background processes staying active that affect my everyday life, and I can’t move on. In short, primal code embedded deep within my being (written eons ago) got activated from a potent story, and even this far down the track it still won’t completely shut off. Heavier influences related to my previous life triggered my survival system upon key messages, which is something that’s hard to control still to this day.
Why? I believe the activation was there so that I pulled my head in so as to ensure my safety and survival. But now, from the aftermath of all the years of continuously vetting the surroundings of both myself and others, searching for dangers, always strategising while pickling in this insecurity, one naturally develops new strengths and moves in a direction that most people won’t understand. Basically, I must find closure in any draining story that comes my way, and thus eliminate any element of the unknown.
In contrast, Story Aftermath isn’t always negative in nature, but can have a long-lasting positive effect instead.