Now I would say luckily, but it’s more like by some hidden feature in reality unlocked (an energy or entity laying a helping hand in the background) that my day was saved, and I landed with two feet firmly on the ground (at least, more firmly than before). A gross distaste for human direction at the deeper level somehow cleared the path for unseen influences to further guide me. It’s an aspect I’ve found hard to put into words, which is why I kept it to myself over the years.
In short, and in archaic terms, I speak of the disembodied. Or, in modern-day parlance, this is somewhat explained as an odd series of transmissions that come from another wavelength or dimension. Admittedly, it’s a grey area in general. Which also means, quite often, it is a mood changer and conversation killer when spoken about because no one wants to hear such nonsense. However, this form of influence I kept to myself was a primary source of guidance that I had no choice but to further allow into my life.
The word Mindless strengthened only by recognising something totally out of this world and not trying to explain it to people. Its sacredness came from keeping it quiet and depolarised.
My god doesn’t have a name, and I often label him with many things since I can’t take the idea of him too seriously, or else his stronger influence turns weak. Simply put, it’s just an invisible symbol that I talk to the moment there’s a problem or else when something good happens and I feel the need to give thanks to life. If I want a particular event to occur or not, then I find myself in conversation with this authoritative image in order to try and make it so. Other than for my personal comfort, desperation, and security, it’s otherwise no massive deal. I believe that no one needs to be controlled, manipulated, exploited, or even killed in the name of a three-lettered word which makes for a powerfully-inflated idea.
Although, if I were to give a fair description of who or what God could be, I would include the total package of him being everything and nothing. Or I’d say he is the sum of all the parts, physically and mentally, but just as important he is minus all those parts as well. At least that way I’d take the weight off the cogs of my identification system upstairs that says he or it must be personified in a certain way inside an idea. And we all know what happens when personification comes into play. Polarisation follows. So I avoid the internal processing within that’s prone to get caught up in habits of worshipping, attacking and defending the idea or ideal against others in an energy leeching complex. Thus, anything that my mind produces next will surely hold more value.
It’s only when I say who or what my god is, and allow the idea of a higher power to inflate, that problems follow in my more-ish mind. I radicalise and become an extremist.