Pleasure & Fear — the Double-Sided Coin

With great upset in the one sense, I learnt along the way that each class of sensation derived from my thoughts live on the back of the other. Or at least for my particular cogs, they do. What a bummer as I look for other ways to exploit my mind.

Dear Life, is there a middle ground I can travel in? So I don’t get so caught up?

When overriding positivity shifts my attention away from an issue, it’s obvious; I’m playing in polarity. The blanket acts as a barrier from the haunts of time. Again, time implied as my unwanted thoughts increasing pressure, which is precisely why I also name it my escape hatch, a long-lasting habit since young.

Except, the only real problem I have with escaping, is that my troubles eventually always return due to this balancing or compensating mechanism demanding a contrast in sensation. Otherwise, I’d be on it 24/7, without care.

You see, the pluses ++ in my world don’t register again in the way I want them to until I’ve had a good dance in the mud. Or, at least, a drawn-out break with something mundane in the middle. Then, to top it off, I’d gradually extend the limits of my high since standing on weaker ground, as a way to cater to the negative offset. Or since I wasn’t getting the same hit, I’d naturally reach in to grab more.

But Why Would Our Makers Put Such a Stupid Condition Into Reality?

I know, right? Why put a catch in?

Nowadays, as I draw on the pleasure centre allowing only a conservative attachment to reroute pressure, I expect only a small whipping on the flipside. And that’s because I’ve seen and felt the law of the greedy. Converting pleasure is one thing, and without it, life would be dull.  But attaching to it, while increasingly weakening myself and inflating the pattern,  now that is a challenge well hidden in the fruits and unlike any seen before.

Please believe me when I say: ‘I am the experienced traveller who has travelled endlessly across state lines’. After reaching my tranquil place, the exchange was, I’d add another tiny layer of bubble wrap and increase my sensitivity to the outside world.

I, the hot-and-cold package, am becoming more and more fragile, requiring greater care for my sheltered state. Now, couple this in with nature’s tendency to balance things out, and the rest is plain logic.

My perceived harsh reality becomes even louder, and I start making a fuss out of nothing

Therefore, by staying in the traditional mindful field without a greater insight, meant I was only dealing with surface issues on one side of the coin, which would be fine if it was well-managed as most can do.

But I suck at that! 😒


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