So rather I continue with the usual happy new refined story TEMP FIXING the original sad/angry previous chapter; my new approach instead was to let it all play out anyway. I’m programmed, and I couldn’t stop it even if I tried. Trying is feeding/fuelling!
However, this time, I’d see these total thought movements in action. With great awareness and sensitivity, I’d watch my sensors SPIKE as signals fly both up and down, sending me into different modes moods and states.
By overseeing the full spectrum of sensations derived from each fragment story or state, my screws tightened on their own or from another level, and I got my power back.
Furthermore, I haven’t entirely disregarded traditional psychology and mindfulness. If anything, I’ve reformed and strengthened this aspect to suit my cogs. I’ve tweaked myself and adapted into what I feel the General Mind missed or overlooked.
Think a mind having complete oversight and seeing every exquisite detail; the idling or polarised conditioning (actions and reactions in either direction). Plus, any further activities that follow on and on and on (the ones we generally miss). Let’s call this our annoying human byproduct that won’t shut the hell up!
Although it sounds tedious to stay in contact with each process at every moment, there’s no going back once I’m activated. Typically, at first, I’ll condemn myself over and over from traits I don’t like seeing up close. Like a yoyo, I’ll fly up and down, left-right and around, sparking all types of responses; emotions/frustrations. But as time goes on the force slowly and naturally subsides and I find my way to steady ground.
Most quirks and idiosyncrasies brought to my attention have normalised. Why/How? I’m now aware that I’m just one of many humans who do the same thing. I react according to my life exposures and these built-in bits and pieces.
Today, I don’t beat myself up as much and take things far less seriously.