Holding My Space

Whenever I grab and hold onto a certain state of mind, I empower or breed mental fragments/spaces that affect my everyday reality in both the up and down ways. Let’s call it the up and down sense of time which produces a corresponding space.

In life, I would avoid the heaviness of time or ‘negative time’ by floating in something lighter, but only until something dragged me back. Now, I prefer staying in ‘positive time’, because, seriously… who doesn’t love an escape from a cramped space? Who on earth would want to go back to anxiety and tension inside a massive build-up of pressure?

By holding onto one level or density of space, I thought I was doing myself a favour. But in fact, it wasn’t long before the pressure built back up!


What are Fragments?
Whether in technology, demography, geography or psychology, fragments are all the same. They are broken up things, spaces and aspects. Fragmentation in the psych world divides my behaviour and groups various relationships in my life, causing me to act according to each block.

Plus, the more I escape time in ignorance to its effects ( +/-/+/- ), the greater this divide or distinction will reflect in my behaviour as I get pulled toward the extreme.

For this reason, I live my life as a holidaymaker, continually crossing state lines.

The Sense of Time That Creates Many Spaces

Keeping time at arm’s length is the absolute key for my escaping, because that’s where all my problems are, in a battle between Yesterday and Tomorrow. My dramas are always in this showdown between what was ‘back then’ and what ‘lays ahead’.

When my attention moves away from a cluttered region of my mind, instead of working through the mess by staying in direct contact with the problem and resolving it, I usually find that I have packed my bags and run off. I’ve shifted and sheltered to a less dense spread out area, aka a serene place with plenty of space. Or I have created and moved into a lighter fragment in favour of living in a positive time frame or frame of mind.

However, after clearly seeing that I was taking more of these mental trips than usual and with extra running around, this gave me a new incentive to move in an odd but most fortunate way. It was nothing like any of the steps that I had ever taken before. By clearly seeing the bigger picture for once, which was me inside a giant runaround time and space mess, I naturally moved towards a less obstructive route, if that makes sense. I took aim at a new way of creating less blowback for myself.

How, exactly? After giving considerable attention to a lifestyle of my scattered steps taken I couldn’t help but unwind in an entirely fresh way. I no longer stay focused on my usual steps or finding better one’s to replace them with from all of my patterns, along with the impulsive ideals that stacked up. In fact, I didn’t take any ideals seriously from this point on.

Also, I should have known better earlier. I live in a bi-polar world that attracts and repels by nature. Having moved away from a relationship breakdown, crisis or challenge of any kind, even my best effort couldn’t hold my most favoured and practised escape for too long. Regrettably, I would return to the dense scene in absolutely no time at all.

Hence, all the running around… the up and down.

Understanding Time & Space

So by cushioning myself into another relaxed state or lighter region where time was neither felt nor taken seriously,  since my attention was basically stoned or in another world it meant I had created a new breeding ground for attachments to thrive. I waved the magic wand and blew glitter in between my problems. But, as always, they would reappear thanks to this annoying yet super reliable force, gravity. Not only that, but my life felt increasingly difficult to deal with since I was so weakened by my life-long mental exhaustion, or the hangovers I got from overusing or abusing time and space.

Who would have guessed that time and space were so entwined into one another, such team players?

By my habit of pulling in lighter or floatier space as a temporary shield, I had simultaneously pushed the dense sense of time away. That is, all my haunts and annoyances were no longer heard or seen with my mind’s eye. However, it was always only until life served them back in another round. Except, then it was dealt from a slightly stronger hand each time — compounding more weight into my state of mind.

Zooming-In on Time

Time has a few interpretations on this network, but as you should know by now it is generally implied as a negative. Also, since it is undoubtedly significant all-round, it has its own section that explains everything I have understood so far. I more or less detail time in systems, subsystems and variants, and I tell how each play out in me.

However, in the above case when I said that time was neither felt nor taken seriously, it might sound like I’m describing the timeless, but I’m not and here’s why…

This state of time or ‘stoned attention’ is actually  my discreet tendency to ignore and cover up what the generally-implied haunts of time are telling me.  Therefore I use the positive side of time to press against or suppress the negative side of time counterpart. Or instead of calling this the ‘timeless’, it’s more in line with the ‘pretend present’ or ‘tainted timeless’ version.

But unless one is time savvy at the core, then all this may be hard to understand, especially at first glance. Because, when I am used to escaping time’s paddle, it means that I rely on converting positive time, which is an act that produces space-like sensations that I would call the ‘timeless’  in a misinterpretation. 

Still Confused??

Escaping time’s paddle means that I will use a positive [+] yesterday/tomorrow relief valve or temporary suppression to counter the negative [-] yesterday/tomorrow pressurisation.

Except…. my relief often gets confused as the ‘timeless’. Hey guys, I’m in the timeless! 🤩 (when really.. I’m time stoned)

Today, this new time insight plays a stronger role in my life. Forget the timeless… I’ve now optimised! 💪

For more info, head over to the Time & Space section.

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