Whenever I hold onto a certain state of mind, I empower or breed mental fragments/spaces that affect my everyday reality in both the up and down ways. Let’s call it the up and down sense of time which produces a corresponding space.
In life, I would avoid the heaviness of time or ‘negative time’ by floating in something lighter, but only until something dragged me back. I prefer staying in ‘positive time’, because, seriously… who doesn’t love an escape from a cramped space? Who on earth would want to go back to anxiety and tension inside a massive build-up of pressure?
By holding onto one level or density of space, I thought I was doing myself a favour. But in fact, it wasn’t long before the pressure built back up!
The Sense of Time That Creates Many Spaces
Keeping time at arm’s length is the absolute key for my escaping, because that’s where all my problems are, in a battle between Yesterday and Tomorrow. My dramas are always in this showdown between what was ‘back then’ and what ‘lays ahead’.
When my attention moves away from a cluttered region of my mind, instead of working through the mess by staying in direct contact with the problem and resolving it, it means that I have packed my bags and ran off. I’ve shifted and sheltered to a less dense spread out area, aka a serene place with plenty of space. Or I would create and move into a lighter fragment in favour of living in a positive time frame or frame of mind.
However, after clearly seeing that I was taking on more of these mental trips than usual and with extra running around, this gave me a new incentive to move in an odd but most fortunate way. It was nothing like any steps I had ever taken before. By clearly seeing the bigger picture for once, which was me inside a giant runaround time and space mess, I naturally moved towards the sanest route if that makes sense. I immediately gave considerable attention to a lifestyle of my scattered steps taken and I unwinded in an entirely fresh way. I didn’t stay focused on my usual steps or finding better one’s to replace them with.
Once again, I should have known better earlier. I live in a bi-polar world that attracts and repels by nature. Having moved away from a relationship breakdown, crisis or challenge of any kind, even my best effort couldn’t hold my most favoured and practised escape. Regrettably, I would return to the dense scene in absolutely no time at all.
Hence, all the running around… the up and down.
Understanding Time & Space
So by cushioning myself into another relaxed state or lighter region where time was neither felt nor taken seriously since my attention was basically stoned or in another world, meant new breeding ground for attachments to thrive. I waved the magic wand and blew glitter in between my problems. But as always, they would reappear thanks to this annoying yet super reliable force gravity. Not only that, life felt increasingly difficult to deal with since I was so weakened down by the life-long exhaustion or the hangovers I got from overusing time and space (once again… if that makes sense).
Who would have guessed that time and space were so entwined into one another, such team players?
By my habit of pulling in lighter or floatier space as a temporary shield, I had simultaneously pushed the dense sense of time away. That is, all my haunts and annoyances were no longer heard or seen by my mind’s eye. However, it was always only until life served them back in another round. Except, it was then dealt from a slightly stronger hand each time — compounding the weight into my state of mind.
Zooming-In on Time
Time has a few interpretations on this network, but as you should know by now it is generally implied as a negative. Also, since it is undoubtedly significant all-up, it has its own section that explains everything I have understood so far. I more or less detail time in systems, subsystems and variants, and I tell how each play out in me.
However, in the above case when I said that time was neither felt nor taken seriously, it might sound like I’ve described the timeless, but I’m not and here’s why…
But unless one is time savvy at the core, then all this hard to understand, especially at first glance. Because, when I am used to escaping time’s paddle, it means that I rely on converting positive time, which is an act that produces space-like sensations that I would call the ‘timeless’ in a misinterpretation.
For more info, head over to the Time & Space section.