Pleasure & Fear — Two Sides of the Same Coin

With great upset in the one sense, I have learnt along the way that each class of sensation derived from my thoughts lives on the back of the other. Or at least for my particular cogs, they do. What a bummer as I now look for other ways to exploit or gain the advantage on my mind.

Dear Life, is there a middle ground I can travel in, so I don’t get so caught up on the extreme?

When overriding positivity shifts my attention away from a pressing issue, it’s obvious that I’m playing in polarity. The blanket acts as a barrier from the haunts of time. Haunts? Yes, this is the generally-implied time version (haunts or fury) made up of the unwanted thoughts increasing my pressure, which is precisely why I refer to positivity as my escape hatch. Or, on the brighter side of time is the less-implied time version (positivity or serenity) that gets used in my vocabulary, but only on occasions. Unfortunately, bouncing between the haunts and the blanket has been a long-lasting habit of mine since I was young.

And the only real problem I ever had with escaping thru the hatch by using a blanket is that my troubles would always return due to this balancing or compensating mechanism that demands a contrast in sensation. Otherwise, I would be escaping life 24/7 without a care rather than only escaping from time-to-time as I do today.

You see, the pluses ++ in my world won’t register again in the way I want them to until I’ve had a good dance in the mud. Or at least, until there is a long, drawn-out break with something clearly mundane in between. Even then, if I don’t get the same hit that I usually would, I’d simply reach deeper into my imagination to grab for more positive producing material in order to compensate and turn things around. Then, to top it all off, I’d gradually extend the limits of my high as a way to cater to the negative offset bound to occur, as I had lost more and more solid ground over the years.

But Why Would Our Makers Put Such a Stupid Condition Into Reality?

I know, right? Why put a catch in at all?

Nowadays, as I draw on the pleasure centre allowing only a conservative attachment to reroute pressure, I expect only a small whipping on the flipside. And that’s because I have seen and felt the law of the greedy, not liking the repercussions produced. Converting pleasure is one thing, and without it my life would be dull.  But attaching to it, while increasingly weakening myself and inflating the pattern,  created a condition I can well do without.

Please believe me when I say… “I am the experienced traveller who has travelled endlessly across mental state lines.” After reaching my tranquil spot, the exchange was I would add another tiny layer of bubble wrap and increase my sensitivity to the outside world. I desensitised myself to the inside world which called for greater imagination while becoming extra sensitive to the outside world closeby.

I, the hot-and-cold package, am becoming more and more fragile, requiring greater care for my sheltered state. Now, couple this with nature’s tendency to balance things out, and the rest is plain logic.

My perceived harsh reality becomes even harsher, and I start making a fuss out of nothing.

Therefore, by staying in the traditional mindful field without this greater insight, meant that I was only dealing with surface issues on one side of the coin, which would be fine if it was well-managed as most can do. Most can flip the coin without causing a problem to their lives. But unfortunately, I suck at that! 😒


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