Quite often, I’d get all caught up and believe; Hey, I’ve hit the timeless. When my thoughts massage my perception of reality to a certain point, I reach a high, a spiritual high. Feelings of space and freedom, nowness and enlightenment return convincing me that something magical, mystical and beyond is once again IN THE AIR. Under a spell driven by a surge of God-like pleasure remembered in a previous event, or thru a recollection of powerful records that held more value in real-time only, I couldn’t help but reenact each scene; try to get it back.
In my earlier days, I had no interest in understanding at this profound level because I loved riding on whatever waves were nearby. I didn’t worry about any connection to the crash that was bound to occur ahead and dump me straight back to the bottom, which is what all waves do. No, I didn’t see the mechanics clearly, until recently. 🙄
At the top, it was great; I was great! Here I was, almighty and far too hypnotised to care from the overwhelming force that these rituals produced. But then, as I spiralled back down towards reality, at the bottom, in either; minutes, hours, or sometimes days later, I accepted the process as normal while quietly expressing the Ungodliness to myself. Because on my own was the only place I felt comfortable when thinking along the lows.
So after a couple of years of spinning the same old role from Godly to Un-Godly, back and forth, things finally made more sense and I got fed up with the repetitive comedown!
My Outlook on Everything Changed.
Although, the life change that followed or when my reality started balancing out, it was quite gradual. All the good karma/energy slowly poured into my world only from unwinding one step at a time. By sharply watching shifts occur at each end ↕, interchange, for once, a new tide entered the scene. Nature shaped my ways better than any effort from the conscious mind.
As I watched the sunrise, something got in early to prune these rays before they AGAIN grew out of control and flipped the scene. Slowly, my God-like demands eventually watered/weakened down.
By negating well in advance and catching wind of any floatier clouds nearby, I’d automatically forfeit part of my climb to the God-podium, or I’d stop a percentage of the way in a compromise. This new sacrificial setting is my LONG TERM HOLY INVESTMENT, the healthier choice for once.
Having saved energy by turning into only half or a quarter of a God (fewer conversions / softer-smoother waves), this diet was EXACTLY what I needed for all ends of the process. For once, it meant real strength in my life. And if there were a God or two watching on, then I’m sure they’re impressed now too.