Mindware Installer Section 2
My Identification Complex
Despite the overwhelmingly positive appearance of becoming Mindless in a new light, the concept itself can still be a bit daunting. After all, wouldn’t I be losing my sense of self as I emptied my mind of the thoughts, ideas and visions that defined who I am? Without those, how could I continue to exist in any meaningful way? This is where the true nature of identity comes into play. In order to understand this true nature, we must start at the very beginning and ask the simple question:
Q. Is ‘being Mindless’ the solution to reducing my internal pressure to an optimal level?
A. Yes, but it’s complicated. Being Mindless IS about reducing your internal pressure. However, if you aren’t careful, the idea of becoming Mindless can take over and lead you astray.
First, I don’t want to be the idea and strictly conform to its content, which is what I do when I overly attach myself to an idea.
By becoming ‘something’, in this case ‘Mindless’, I’m attaching my energy to the content inside an idea, thereby identifying with the idea itself. Consequently, this opens up the gates for a likely bombardment of other related thoughts that can easily influence my perception with extreme feelings that go both ways. Usually, there is glory, praise and self-idolisation on the one end of my identity, while pity, ridicule and humiliation await me on the other end.
What I clearly noticed was that when the ‘positive inflation’ side of my ideas played out, which I usually didn’t mind as I became king of the mountain, the other side, namely the ‘negative inflation’ side, wasn’t too far away. Straight away this was problematic since it meant I was about to be cast down to the bottom of the barrel. And what made this perceived trauma even more frustrating was when people destroyed my sacred religion, causing my ego to come crumbling down as my Altar was smashed and my Holy-Home devastated.
So, is ‘being Mindless’ about holding onto the idea?
Absolutely not. In fact, it’s best to not be anything (or if I must, I’ll be as little as possible) since my energy gets consumed in a mix of unnecessary positive and negative fluctuations, which will ultimately affect my behaviour by not letting it run smoothly. Sure, I would love all the positive sensation, but not at the cost of the crippling resistance gripping my Highly Sensitive Mind now that I’m aware of what is going on.
So, no to me ‘being Mindless’ or anything of the like, which means not identifying, attaching or conforming as much; i.e., not worshipping and defending mental images in this competitive unreal world we all share.
Why? It’s an Unwinnable Game!
Keeping my trance-like state returning numerous times a day as the narrative played and replayed used to be the number one priority in my life. There’s no doubt it was the only thing in the world that made me feel alive and free. But when one becomes completely spellbound by this magnetic state of ‘super-enhanced self’, which is self-hypnosis in a nutshell (seriously… what else can it be called?), one is more susceptible and sensitive to the negative projectiles from either what my other self or someone else shoots back in the consequential thinking, also known as the attacking overflow of information that has bite.
Yes, that’s right. If it wasn’t someone else attacking me with details of their stronger features that I found extremely painful when compared to certain aspects of mine, I was the one tearing my identity apart in an internal war I had created just after the peak of my trancing. Or when I had just depleted my positive fuel reserves only to then start burning through on the negative fuel instead.
‘Glory’ and ‘Praise’, when they go beyond a practical dose in my daily usage (if such a dose exists), are processes that do me no good and get in the way of me being more switched on and stable.
You see when I’m heavily invested in the imagination and someone attacks my Mindless ‘Home’, ‘Symbol’ or ‘Bible’, or finds a crack in it, or shows me something stronger from inside their idea making factory (and they will!), I’ll spend considerable energy plugging-up the perceived flaws around my sacred perimeter. I’ll continuously fix it, reinforce it, guard it, hold it up and cherish it so I don’t get hurt anymore. Not to mention all the rockets that I’ll fire off towards their Altar in my retaliation.
Unfortunately, we all now live in a world where everyone fights for control over the narrative at whatever the cost because it means an open tab on both physical and psychological energy by simply controlling people. But to be successful, we highlight only certain important or strong features for our own benefit, while suppressing or deflecting from the other undesirable or weaker parts of the story that don’t stand up well against facts in order to gain the overall advantage. In some cases, I’ve seen a major skill involved in the playing of this game. But controlling the narrative isn’t a game that really interests me anymore.