Seeing My Same Old Pattern

In a fast-moving, hyper-consuming, automated world (at least in my neck of the woods), being visibly Less by portraying new minimalistic caring ways to the outside world gave me a strong sense of purpose and distinction, which was something I felt I had always lacked on the healthier side of life.

And, as with anything that regularly produces positivity thru a narrative designed to ‘hit the spot’, I deified the new idea by carefully placing it inside my Mental Altar. Over time, I would worship my new ‘Less is More God’ by calling upon more variations or enhancements to get my buzz to always come back and recharge me. Buzz, space, cloud, high, divinity or whatever else I wanted to call it, it was still more of the same old pattern.

Ultimately, I was living as a ‘Lessing Part-Timer’ simply because I didn’t know any better and couldn’t help myself. I would continue to portray my cherished idea at scheduled times only, either when the camera faced my way or when I was due for a change in scenery from a negative state to a positive state. But in the end, my More-ish Mind took over and kept hunting for the appeal quality again (which couldn’t be found in ‘ideas of Less’ until it had time to reflect, then fuel to power up).

Therefore, my world was constantly up and down from all the refuelling and depleting in both desirable and undesirable thoughts taking the stage. What else can I say? Other than that I was a heavy-mind addict bent on intensely contrasting stories within my thoughts.

I behaved differently throughout the day because my up and down life eventually craved for MORE. It wanted more positivity in ideas and ideals, even when they were cleverly dressed up in ‘Less’.

However, as I became more and more aware of this funny business of ‘Less being satisfying’, by watching my inner demands grab and chew up any words, images or symbols that were filled with an appealing quality (the positive pull), my life changed in a way that it never knew before.

By finally recognising mental areas where I would stockpile my most valued or treasured thoughts, which by this stage of my life contained a newfound desirable description of ‘Less’, it meant my world was about to strengthen. You see, it was now clear to me that my same old pattern cleverly operated from behind another diversion, and this activated something deeper inside to intervene, aka my invisible Level 2 helper.

Too deep, too fast? Ok, let’s come back a notch. Travelling outside conventional thinking for the first time needs to be slow going. Or else, it’ll create resistance with you guys, and I will keep living the monologue.

Taking Baby Mindless Steps

So by gently unfolding what I consider Mindless Related Activity (explained in greater detail from here on), I will serve out only one small spoonful at a time to you using the most subtle translations. Because I found that by dishing up too big a scoop, or by giving out too many Mindless servings at once, I risk resistance and alienation, and my efforts are potentially viewed as weirdly backwards (and not in a good way).

Or I will veer far, far away from the good new Level 2 type of Lessing that I am trying my best to convey.

Deep down, I know that if I’m not discreet and careful in my tactics over the long term with something I feel so strongly about or alive in, then I won’t achieve any common ground by forcing my way of thinking down your throat, especially since it is all very different. I have seen this style in action many times, and I naturally ignore whoever they are and whatever they serve.

So it’s baby steps from the get-go, since you have to learn how to walk before you can run.