An Earlier Distortion

Now I didn’t just catch a cold from those around me when I was young, nor was I the perfect sponge every parent hoped-for on absorbing the good stuff only.

As I’ve mentioned from the start, I also caught a line-of-ignorance off the upline and sidelines, a force to be reckoned-with because most can’t see it in themselves (reality: we all get a good dose!). Over time, my parents, elders, family, extended family, semi-outsiders and borderliners, teachers, friends and acquaintances, all gave me a decent serving of both good AND challenging, in terms of how to live a life.

Naturally, my ears and eyes soon became accustomed to filtering out these silly little thing called facts, and I’d stay with the good-old comfortable set ways. Or, the routine that kept on living.

I can’t say that there were any new facts born since facts had always been, and my visor was merely an extension of me. These influences, I am truly grateful for because I understand that the good comes with the bumpy and that’s how we grow (not that I wanted to, but I HAD to!). However, for some reason, the bad gripped onto me or into me (or WAS ME), and I strayed down this funny path on the Darkside. Escalating peaks in sensation, coupled in with other factors, led to a bizarre lifestyle, and I lived super-selfishly. 👺

A Bizarre Lifestyle

Here are some earlier-on simple everyday ideas that helped me veer from nature. I thought they were all facts, but I took in ‘belief’ instead.

Keep in mind: As a Highly Sensitive Mind beholder, I react differently to others when it comes to foods, heavier metals and refinements in my environment. I get carried away much easier.

Here goes

  • I must eat meat and eggs while also drink dairy to get my nutrients
  • Chlorine and fluoride in my water is good
  • Processed food is a long-term reliable source (staple)
  • I need iodised salt to maintain healthy thyroid glands
  • When I feel sick, see a doctor and take whatever he gives you without question because he knows best.
  • Happiness is just ahead.
  • Success is about money, drugs and bitches (well, this sweet signal from the empire came a little later).

Overall, sure, I understand that there’s not much in these. But for me, they stirred the pot and weren’t meant for my system long term. For most, yeah, sure, you guys can easily handle the list, from start to finish. I see it all the time.

Back in my world, I started rationalising heavier and sillier ideas.

I.e. Jump 10-15 years and…

It’s ok to take 10 Xanax a day. Or it’s ok to eat 50 Eccy’s over a long weekend along with a few other treats in between and follow it with a box of sleepers to get the 1up on the comedown.


One weekend my mate and I started with a bag of 100 extasy tabs and didn’t stop until it was gone. Stuff kept coming in, so we kept pushing the limits.

In my mid to late ’20s, I ran an underground pharmacy, acting as a hidden doctor for the darker community (including professionals). It was ok managed at the beginning or until I started getting high off my own supply. Despite the fact that I have paid for it in ways, I still don’t know how I made it this far back!

How did we not die??

Mmm, something watched over. 🙏

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