When the outside world came at me and made considerable contact (either other people’s thoughts firing my way or elemental and material forces pressing in — food, touch, light, etc., or from any combination), then the same thing happened. A stronger chemical reaction caused a noticeable sensation, and I’d either want more or less of it, projecting potential scenarios to reach my goal.
This built-in TOUCH and PROJECT cause and effect universal mechanism I’ve always operated in (mostly in complex mode from a kid) is quite easy to understand, now that I’ve had a good look. But it was these heavier ongoing processes I found hard to manage as the echo kept grip REGARDLESS of any future contact with life.
Whether I sat in a quiet garden, park or laid at the beach, it didn’t matter. Nature had little effect as I couldn’t see past the smoke. Next best thing, I had to get to the mechanics asap for a tune-up!
You see, I didn’t need anything else touching-in to keep the cogs moving as this well-fuelled blaze was out of my control! Unfortunately, a quiet room meant absolutely nothing. I’d still hear the yells of yesterday and the year before, haunting, taunting in an almost real-time setting.
My supercharged memories and refinements were stuck on repeat. They followed me everywhere, regardless of my setting.
The Echo That Follows
My up and down conditioning/background/set-ways that gripped in over a lifetime became a long term obstacle.
Sadly, trying to turn it off only heightened its effects.
Sure, I could instantly suppress my negative perception for short-while, by throwing in a pleasantry or two, in thoughts, sugar, and above.
But rest assured, it wasn’t long before that broken record returned with its usual track playing again, and louder.
Decades of environmental, cultural, traditional, technological and social exposures (or lack thereof the healthier doses), thru a vast range of stimulation, shaped my mind into a busy factory with each program moving along a conveyor belt, whether I liked it or not.
And when all caught in the thick of, it was nearly impossible to see let alone want to learn from, and dissolve. Plus, my relationships, in general, were usually gripped with other resonating factory workers. Which meant, to us, the strain appears normal.
Everything gets normalised over a course of events!