Sometimes I feel I’m STILL sweating out my previous beliefs. 😰
Once riddled, but no more. Thank God!
When Reality Served Back a Dose, I Joined the Resistance
So after being all caught up in my own silly story and when life returned a well-packaged surprise inside a psychological crisis over a ledger of misdeeds I couldn’t write off (I went nuts from karma), something changed, and I forever woke up. My once backward-beliefs that sent me EVERYWHERE 🔁🔁🔁 exploded into something totally different. All of a sudden, I flipped across to a severe opposing-view on society, confusing everyone!
I went from one extreme of ego (dark) to the next (light) and aligned myself within what’s known as the Counterculture. This new style of living went against nearly all forms of destruction and consumption, that today, I’m fortunately aware of, as, too far left, and impractical. It’s a long story that is hard to piece together. Although, I’m trying my best to summarise.
To seclude myself and become riddled in paranoia and also to avoid treading on every bug and critter while boxing myself in a hermit lifestyle, was a recipe for disaster if I were to stay there too long. My very existence inside a human nest demands death and destruction. And a smaller nest within this nest, which, in my case, is a modern-nest, puts on even higher demand. It includes more pressures on my distant neighbours in other lands.
However, since I out-of-sorts and also brand new to this new pole reversal business, I thought I could’ve stamped out every destructive trait I held while making myself wholly and respectable in the process. Therefore I clung on to this light as much as I possibly could.
What Does the Word MODERN Say?
It says, a lifestyle of greater space, mobility and comfort, at the cost of blood sweat and tears from our ancestors (THANK YOU 🙏). Although, I’ve only ever lived in the modern world and have no way to compare anything else, other than what my programming of non-modernism tells through images or from what other people have told me. Oh, yeah, and perhaps most importantly, along with a fortunate small glimpse into the outskirts of reality thru a hidden journey, the archons dragged me down when I wasn’t at my best (in a secret sucky wormhole 😲).
So now that I’m aware of my actions having a rippling effect that travels outside my sheltered reality, and towards the non-modern nests, let alone the impact I place on both the Animal and Plant Kingdoms, then it only makes sense that the very least I do is consider this.
As a grown-up Virgo (?? someone who used to annoy the crap out the others! Bahahaha), there’s no way in hell I’m leaving behind excess/outstanding tabs anymore. Especially since any unreasonable demands for energy and waste that follows, ends up there.
Hell, if I’m going to kill destroy or displace ‘something’ ‘one’ or ‘animal’ in the name of creativity, tradition, love or survival, then why not at least own it? I could potentially save a hassle down the track by naturally reducing and optimising, or my interest could veer elsewhere.
What has helped is I’ve said to myself: Lee, how can you expect your world to evolve when you can’t even see your own destructive hand?