The 1up & 1down Ego Loop

The 1up is all about nature’s distinction. It is my sense of belonging, which also tends to dominate the surroundings in either a subtle or obvious way. I only have to look in the garden to see inferior-offshoots outgrown over and over by other foliage. Humans love to get the 1up on each other… it’s in our blood. As I find a process that I feel gives me a particular advantage, the edge, I draw strength from it and become alive as I hold it up to show you.

And throughout life I play this game with everyone; friends, family, strangers and whoever else, while enjoying EVERY MOMENT. But soon what follows is a sure gravitational reality check pulling me back to earth.

Yes, eventually more 1ups return fire, cancelling mine out like they had never existed (goddamn binary!). While at the same time, I also feel the effects of an ugly 1down in a reprimand — littleness, shame, envy, jealousy, anger, resentment, to name a few.

Tho, I suppose I can’t expect anything less since I am in a playing field destined to change.

With pieces of information thrown back and forth, subtle or otherwise, both strengthening AND shattering our fierce and scared little egos, are we not simply all zeros in a field looking for a 1?

Honestly, how mighty is your 1 when you launch? When you fire off your best?

Let Me Give You an Ugly Example of How One’s 1 Plays Out

The Unholy 1up

I will pretend I don’t care when I get smacked down. But the reality is, in absolute humiliation and from a terrible place of weakness, I’ll run off with my tail in between my legs: retreat and lay dormant in a cave for what feels like… forever.

But then (or inevitably after a dose of something strange) I will super-reinforce myself, come back, and serve it out harder in the next round.

Even if it takes ten years or more, please know, I’ll always find my way again. And when I do, I’ll have something unbreakable a bigger, stronger 1..

You see, while I was in my corner all curled up in a ball (the place I learnt my best tricks), I bumped into this missing piece of the food chain you must have overlooked earlier. Something I’m sure you’ll find hard to swallow, today.

So, after you landed on target, destroying me and making me into an even bigger fool than I was while I tried to handle all the hidden leverage that conveniently no one else knew, it’s now my turn, and I’ve been waiting a long, long time…

Upon my hunt for something stronger that definitely won’t break as easily, I’ll pick the perfect moment to return fire with an unstoppable kiss of death. One I’ll happily blow with the wind, so it conveniently looks like nature did it.

I heard that Affirmations are powerful. So as a daily ritual for years, I’ve been begging the Universe to allow me this one opportunity for Vengeance and Territory, to gain back my 1. Universe, I’m only here for the one reason today… Let’s do this.

<Warning: System Overheating>

Virgonian Order

Believe me… I’ll easily blend in my grudge/scar/trauma with a universal cry for quality-control so that I maximise numbers and not lose any sleep over it. Because that’s what happens when you don’t come back to the table and fix the mess you left, hoping I would disappear quietly — buried deep in one-sided paperwork.

And what was the reality of your ignorance?

You fools left someone pickling and conjuring in darkness, for far too long now, giving me time to plan all sorts of things: i.e., the greater picture, breed, order, etc., as life’s new mitigator.  As I’m freshly appointed by our Universe whether you like it or not. 

It’s a simple case of cause and effect that now comes back to bite 🦈

Unless however, the only thing that might save your situation, is that I pull another one of these stupid white, fluffy rabbits from this merciful hat that keeps popping up and I simply evict you and your line FROM the deed to the house. Rather than I blow something else over and mitigate from afar which was the plan all along.

Mitigating up close is too complicated in today’s world 🤦🏻‍♂️

So you guys need to understand..

These keys were never yours from the beginning, and they will be in my hands soon.

Need I remind you of the cluster AND supercluster that our galaxy pays the rent to? Or do you still not know whose neck of the neighbourhood we all live in?

The Milky Way Hood

Yet in the off-chance, if I decide to throw you guys a line, a reprieve in a best-case scenario, you shouldn’t mistake any kindness for weakness. What was dealt my way, I’ll hand back on a silver platter, and it might just satisfy my needs.

Never Leave a Pickle Behind…

A major pickle

So tell me, how do you like your new life map now, huh?

How do you find the longer-lasting sour taste of uncertainty now that a spanner got thrown into the conventional works?

Also, can you feel your heart jumping faster than usual, along with shortness of breath?

Do you feel a tightness around your neck knowing that a surprise can jump out at any time, and your system might not be there for you?

Well… get used to it!

Therefore, people on my radar who chose not to come back to the table in a civil manner… soon, I will drag you back whether you like it or not. Except this time, it’ll be YOU on the other end plagued by anxiety and uncertainty.

I will reclaim my invisible and short-lived trophy since that is what a zero does!

<END of System Overload & My Ugly Example!>

Breaking the Cycle

So, this never-ending loop de loop between pleasure and fear, refining/reinforcing my quarters on the playing field, is what makes me stand-out and feel alive.

Yes! I get to raise my 1 UP HIGH and show it off to the world. While in the meantime, I have forgotten all about those opposite feelings that are far, far away.

Can you believe that we are actually all in this over a fight for psychological territory, hoping to gain physical space out of it on top, to match our inflated egos?

However, do not fear… I’ve finally found a workaround to help alleviate the excessiveness or unnecessary weight that a 1up-1down carries. And, it won’t cost you an arm or a leg. Only a small 1-up side dish… by yours truly.

A Small Serving on the House

Today, the only thing that helps alleviate the smackdown in a significant way and takes the weight off my shoulders is knowing that I’ll always fall short of a permanent win. You see, serving a 1up is forever bound to project back. Otherwise, how else can a ‘1’ stay a ‘1’ and sustain itself? How else can it stay standing up?

Unfortunately, it can’t. The moment I hold my 1up UP, it loses value and starts normalising. Not only that, but I also condition myself to STAY KING and end up a conformer because kings obviously have more to lose.

Yet the reality is… It’s only a matter of time before someone else in line bumps me off.

Bumping Each Other Off

1up-1down System Update

Here’s a 1up equation that works for me. If it makes sense, then you have already patched yourself!

<My 1up Patch>

0 x 1 will always return 0 in a forever playing environment.

0 + 1 = 1 Congratulations on your 1

1 + 1 = 0.9 A lesser congratulations – Normalisation begins which activates a demand for more.

1 + 1 + 1 = Less of a 1 – There is now a loss in value as my ego inflates with a stale type of high that increases self-centred activities. Help, I’m at risk. I need to experience 0 again in order for a healthy achievement to power things on.

<END of My 1up Patch>

For freedom on the playing field, I accept this trophy as a perpetual one to be shared. But not for a while, so back off!

The 1up Trophy

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