Since I once found it difficult to understand things others usually breezed through, I had to write this. It’s time to close the gap between an unconventional and traditional way of learning/absorbing.
When I first see how things or aspects are put together that are of interest, by watching the relationship between processes, I come to an understanding or a knowing.
The feeling it gives is that something internal is unlocked and an insight strengthens thru a sense of expansion and superiority. Or rushing in is a wave of overall satisfaction from learning something interesting for the first time.
Ah, yes, stimulation that destroys the barriers surrounding my small limited self.
Till one or two minutes later…
Space to Understand
Although I naturally store records of all played events that come with my ability to rebroadcast for whatever reasons, I find, nowadays; I’m less inclined to return to the library once I’ve understood something. I’ve learnt that these Picture + Audio ON-DEMAND files don’t get any clearer by continually grabbing on, replaying them back. Because, whenever I had toggled the ‘repeat’ switch and held it firm, which at one stage was the norm, and I couldn’t stop myself, that is when I became most susceptible to distortion. My perception would easily get things mixed up from here, throwing the entire line of understanding whatever I’m looking at, out of whack.
Let’s say, I had missed something crucial during the experience/recording, or I may have skimmed over information leading in or out too fast, I’d then grab hard into my memory, always looking for that damn missing part. I would attempt to ‘re-experience’ the same sensations that accompanied the initial insight while hoping for something more or better; re-examining the slides I want to extend-onto or learn further-on-from.
But unfortunately, nothing ever measured up quite like the original experience or the first rush of sensation that poured in and I’d barely learn anything else or more, on top. Did I miss something?
This made me wonder 🤔
What’s really going on, up there?
Am I simply attached to these near-duplicate greater understanding sensations while thinking something of value got left out during Round 1 in the live recording?
Should I keep hunting and extracting MORE of this knowing/feeling in the hope of unlocking the next piece of the puzzle, as I’m able to quickly and easily cash in on ‘repeat stimulation’ by cloning the event in my mind — like, theatre?
Or was I simply learning not much else and only adding an extra delay to any potential revelation, by distorting whatever’s in front with a busy memory filter?
Hrmmm, yes, the deep-deep travelled to another level.