Heavy Fragment Prison

Feeling Heavy

Here is a typical scenario of reinforcing a Heavy Psychological Fragment:

I feel problems in my mind and pressures rise again. Why? I’m about to meet another experience related to an outstanding issue. This disruption of natural flow in my thinking is the only formal notice to prep before the storm.

Next, with the sense of time being its usual pain in the butt and feeling heavy and slow, I look relentlessly for a fix. I hunt for the best thoughts possible, which range from ‘blatant escapes’ all the way to ‘cloaked ones hidden behind sincere-looking questions and answers’ to redirect my attention towards the path to salvation. I try to use these to blanket my issue before my heavy unreality completely overrides my reality.

Driven by an increasing surge of fear of something unpleasant just ahead (a conflict or something pain-related), whatever practical processes that are running in my mind now come under risk. My overall stress and anxiety levels intensify, so it’s only a matter of time before the people around me notice it too. Therefore, I manifest this god-forsaken issue, so its potential is no longer only ahead of me.

Lastly, within my confinement or cage that’s now locked me in, I’ve also managed to convince myself that I’ve explored every possibility that might help my situation. But as usual, I can’t slow my thinking down or even take a breath. I continue going round and round in mental circles with absolutely nothing new to report.

I check, double-check, triple-check, etc., as most do under heavier stress. However, it’s too late, and I’m spent. I’ve inflated the issue and drained myself in the process. It’s time to pack my bags and get to my holiday spot asap.

Follow the Signs to Serenity

Finally, after working myself up into a massive fuss over things others may find trivial, it’s time to eject and I jump to a convenience that will set me free. Thru a specialised meditative escape hatch readied for my approach, I use the quickest route from my imagination and transport myself away.

Whatever the story, it doesn’t matter as the above is what usually plays out. Depending on the intensity/density or mental-psi, I’d use one, two or a few levels of rituals to ultimately suppress the pressure from reaching my nervous system. I augment my super-sensitive perception of lack of space with comforting space instead.

Like a valium, this can almost immediately stop the problem from targeting my nervous system. Short term, like the real stuff.

Other times it takes longer.

As my journey begins, it means my attention has sought refuge from the chaos in the cogs.

The driving fact about me is… I’m an experienced traveller who lives on the border and regularly crosses State Lines.