When my projections regularly produce a noticeable feeling in a lifestyle pattern, in stronger emotions that affect my everyday reality, it tells me that my thoughts are being highly refined. I’m in the habit of rapidly processing as I strip away at the periphery (ignoring both the boring stuff in my memory AND a large number of basic objects and symbols I encounter in the outer world), while hunting for something more rewarding to latch onto.
When I’m heavy on the throttle, I’ve got my blinders shielding me from the mundane elements. This meant that, all my life, I over-zoomed-in on some things while ignoring other important information simply for an extra buzz. I became addicted to a sense of positive inflation from within my ideas all because of a lifetime of not understanding my thought processing properly, being caught up in my own sensationalised web.
Psychological Conditioning isn’t an easy system to monitor at first, let alone modify or change its contents. The initial installation from parents and peers, and the gradual updates ever since from the ever-changing sphere of influence, take over my psyche. I end up ingrained towards a particular direction from set-ways encoded by my environment.
In this mode of ‘tasty thinking’ conditioned over time, you could say that I created a strictly Sensation-Driven Reality, a reality overwhelmingly based on repeat secondhand sensations derived from my refined thoughts, as opposed to a balanced or fair Fact-Driven Reality. I couldn’t help myself and kept overinflating particular words and symbols because they were somehow registered as ‘invested objects with good returns’ inside my mind.
The scales often tipped in my world as I gave more and more of my attention to a short-term surge. In a well-scripted narrative, I was able to reanimate unrealistic scenarios in order to fuel this sensationalism day in and day out. It ended up being an addiction that also needed protection from the polarised nature of our planet’s law, which always sought to restore balance through an equal and opposite reaction.
Living a tremendously positive life for an odd mind meant that I would also spend extra time and energy on keeping a watchful eye on the negatives because I didn’t want any disruptions near my pristine mental portfolio. I didn’t want anyone coming in and breaking my God-like ideals that had kept me going for so long. Yet eventually this itself turned into great fear due to the obsessive defensive measures I naturally took, such as paranoia and hypervigilance. And it was all regardless of whatever else popped up before me.
Therefore, I’d ALWAYS attract this irritating contrast between two ends of life. One end was creating a delightful state, envisioning the way my life could or should be, while the other end was the reality of overly processing these thoughts with trapped energy that didn’t channel through and convert into the real world properly.
In fact, I only knew this way of living my life until recently, as I disregarded the very plain yet vital facts that would normally help people thru their life due to my policy of ‘sensation comes first’. Fortunately, my reality is now driven by a healthy mix of factual ideas and semi-inflated ideas (the often boring and the occasionally heightened sensation). Which, all up, equates to a smoother, regulated flow of healthy sensation, and better overall behaviour from being grounded for once.