Welcome to the backstage of my invisible world run by my Psychological Operating System. Here I edit and make enhancements to my inner world. To begin, let’s look at the workload involved and break it down from there.
Projecting is my primary mental activity, and sometimes I feel as though this process carries on non-freaking-stop. As the original slides get recorded in my mind during the play of life, signals or packets of influence cause a chain of reactions, ranging from subtle to intense.
Once I capture and record the world around me, I naturally respond to these new pixel and sound files (taste, smell & so on files) by projecting further possibilities based on all the old pixel and sound files that I hold. I react to my newly registered events with a vast array of other data from my ‘life history folder’ in order to rearrange all the information so that I produce a better image or video of how things could be, thereby producing a sense of direction which ends up empowering me to take real-life action.
In other words, I now have options and choices in my life as I narrow down potential events that can possibly occur.
Admittedly, I was once all over the place, totally consumed in my thoughts. I found myself erratically changing things around and playing out potential scenarios with the aim of reaching a goal. Well, at least I would always believe that I was ‘on the right track’, at first. Therefore, I was under the illusion that I was indeed moving forward, when in fact I was far from it.
One protocol at a time, let’s look at the two levels of projecting involved within my mind’s processing protocol — Simple and Complex.
Simple Projecting Protocol
Known as Simple or Standard Projecting, I map out a potential in an unreality in order to find my way in life’s reality. By putting the pieces together to create an inner-to-outer world manifestation, I become the author of my reality.
Put it on paper (by rearranging my tiny bits of brain gunk), then it’s action time! 🎬
This basic process allows me to consider a few different outcomes within any given situation, thereby helping me to choose the right course of action in optimal time. Rather than reacting to life blindly and rashly, Standard Protocol gives me the execution needed to respond in a controlled, purposeful way, thereby directing my life more effectively as a result.
However, over the years my mental processing intensified and it got super busy upstairs. You see, I was wholly focused on putting many things down on paper and perfecting them, which in turn left barely any room for me to turn these thoughts into actions. I wanted to etch the image onto the real world with all the energy I had inside, but my ability to execute new instructions was always delayed because I either kept finding faults within those instructions, or I found another set of instructions from another image to use instead (creating image after image after image). Therefore, I narrowed my issue down to the two factors of choice and environmental pressures being the main reasons why I couldn’t operate properly within the ‘Simple Projecting Protocol’.
First, there was far too much space allocated for ‘choosing’ which turned my life into a draining process. My energy got wasted from creating and comparing too many unrealistic paths or scenarios. Juggling ideas simply left me busy and unsure, because there were always new ones tacked on the end. Second, which some might also call the ‘cherry on top’, was my life-long supply of rocket fuel which shaped my psyche into something dull. Complications naturally occur when exposing certain minds to certain fuels.
From the get-go, I became a ticking time bomb because of too much salt and pepper poured on me earlier, such as refined low-grade foods along with heavier metals. Most notably, I was exposed for many years to close aerial pesticide bombardments from growing up next to a banana plantation. Therefore, I became a magnet for even more heavier metals to disrupt my adulthood.
In regards to having choices in my life, sure, I love the freedom of being granted many options at my disposal. But I’ve also realised that I don’t want to get stuck in a world of ‘too much option and too little action’, which will inevitably take my freedom away (best to nip this one in the bud). Therefore, it was this odd concoction of pressures that stirred things up in my world, for which I only have myself to blame (in terms of the bigger picture unfolding).
Before my realisation, I lived beyond the Simple Protocol. I reached a point of producing an endless series of these additional projections in pictures and movies, and they’d offer outcome after outcome. Each delivered a slightly different hit thru an array of sensation that kept me busy upstairs only, as I would obsessively hunt for MORE feeling in another variation of the same or similar scene. While consciously, I was convincing myself otherwise. “Hey, I’m finally on a good thing, looking productively at what I’m going to do next.”
What a freakin’ circus to get stuck in!
Complex Projecting Protocol
Complex Projecting, which the Standard Protocol climbed up to by the time I was an adult, repeatedly tied me up turning me into a full-scale mind-junky. This process is the same as that of Standard Protocol, but on a much vaster scale, causing me to virtually lose myself in the state of unreality at the cost of living a real life. Admittedly, this process continues to this day, but fortunately on a much lighter note. I now only consider myself ‘slightly complex’ in terms of the mental processing going on in my mind.
At the peak of it all, I would say that my life map grew so enormous that the contents of my thoughts spread everywhere, which is why I found it difficult to actually know where I was on the ground. Like out-of-control weeds, my ideas grew wildly and rapidly, choking out all the good thoughts that had flourished over time (or the pathways to them). Therefore the ONLY real reward gained were these extreme unreal highs in an imaginary world, which proved to be nothing more than a tricky pattern always holding me down.
There are many ways to explain the differences between the two levels of projecting my thoughts. Still, it all comes down to my internal overactivity versus a smooth, natural flow between my inner and outer worlds of Heavy vs Lighter Mental Processing.