Watching Myself Add Fuel to the Fire

Finally, after clearly seeing numerous ideas stack up and cause delay after the initial will-program had begun (a line of hesitation and excuses following my creative thoughts), this was the insight I needed. As revs climbed in my motor, the sluggish weight of time in my pressurised thoughts made the gap feel terribly hard to close and get to the ‘acted’ on the other end. I wanted the task done and dusted as the appeal went into reverse.

How did I respond before gaining insight?

Directly with more complication, as per usual. I thought more and more on how to close the gap which I uncomfortably lived in.

Finding More and More Excuses to Both BUY and SELL Time

First, I started thinking in another direction, which was a bad idea because I’m still using up my energies.

Next, within these other thoughts, I was looking for a new quick way to get to another mental reward which also helped to make me feel good again. This in turn pushed the original task to a later date tricking my nervous sysytem, and I was essentially buying more time in a short sense of freedom.

In the end, I got overwhelmed by both the sense of urgency to get the job done in a variety of ways AND my resistance not to break my actual habits by postponing the activity with any tricks that had come to mind.

Therefore, a combination of overlapping choice, mixed direction and ignorance made things all the more difficult to handle.

In a front line battle between ‘action’ occurring in thought mode only as my potent mix of thinking, up against ‘any real chance’ of playing it out in my reality, now can you guess which one prevailed nine times out of ten?

‘More thought’, of course. There was only action in unreality. My will ultimately escaped the task as the sense of time intensified.

Is There a Need to Keep a Gap for Thinking via the ‘Will Protocol’?

The best answer is No. Or at most, very little gap is required.

Let’s recap:

My energy gets wasted from the get-go by overly speculating and dreaming with early rewards spent, and this leaves a lack of enthusiasm at the critical realisation point. Procrastination occurs because in the closing of the gap to the actual moment of liftoff, I grow anxious and agitated which creates even more weight or mental waste. So by the time I’m about to strap in or had just strapped into the task at hand, I’m far from interested in completing it.

And to think I could use ‘time to think’ to my advantage and produce better results wasn’t my brightest idea. In fact, time was never on my side.

By watching my mind play tricks with my willed-ideas, I was able to let go of the inward grip and increase my outward flow.