Blurring My Worlds:
The Real & Unreal

For most of my life, I navigated my reality through a convoluted, counterproductive mindset—thinking more to achieve less via the Level 1 Backward way. This psychological maze, which I now recognise as a self-imposed psychodemic, was superficially addressed until recent years. During this period, I lived rigidly and awkwardly, stumbling through the real world while convincing myself that I had everything perfectly under control internally. This is the paradox of the Level 1 revolving door.

These destructive habits weren’t occasional slip-ups; they permeated nearly every aspect of my life. My lack of flow, caused by overthinking, compelled me to manufacture a false sense of ease through comfort foods, which only led to toxic positivity.

Then there was the harder stuff of booze and drugs, which created a greater artificial space to combat the compression felt inside my negative-charged ideas. The overall combination made my unreal world look and feel particularly real, reinforcing my ego so that I ended up living in another reality altogether. ‘Compression of time leads to a depression of mind’ is what I ultimately worked out in the end. This is exactly why I escaped and floated my way through life, instead of pressing through the harder times.

When I wasn’t stumbling around like a fool under the weight of dense, heavy thinking, I was adrift on a cloud of lighter thoughts laced with toxic positivity. Both extremes disconnected me from reality, making life incredibly difficult to manage.

My everyday traits were driven by an unrealistic future that turned out to be nothing more than a byproduct from overloading the sensors.

The Next Question Emerged…

How do I shift this internal overactivity and channel its energy outwardly to enhance my interaction with the real world?

Instead of pacing the confines of my mind like a restless child on a sugar high, I needed to step outside more often and engage with the real world.