I’m only fooling myself by not asking important questions or inquiring into things. Such as… My counterparts left me in a pickle and until I feel that this is fully resolved, I’ll keep hunting my mind for mechanisms of control to apply to the outside world.
Taming in my world definitely came at the cost of a complete meltdown. It only arrived after experiencing a massive build-up of conflict from all the overthinking and underperforming in my life. This unwholesome pressure, which divided my mind into uneven mental clusters, thrived because of my ignorance towards the endless loop of desirable and undesirable experiencing that I was always caught up in. Fortunately, since I have now found my balance in between, I can confidently tell you that I’ll never run off into the outskirts again or live in an untamed space.
But even to this day, I still wouldn’t consider myself 100% tamed in terms of rational thinking. It’s more like… I’m mostly tamed. I’m a better person with a reasonably sharp mind compared to the defects I had to deal with not long ago.
You see, here’s the thing…
I do feel some underlying problems remaining. Throughout the day, I feel sporadic remnants of an oppressive condition, and it’s taking forever to purify these annoying clusters into nothingness, hoping to recondition or reform myself once and for all.
I must purify the mind and body to lighten my load… I keep saying in a Virgo Way. This is all while I consider forming a robust, New-Age Purification Task Force within my community.
Or perhaps I once again simply invested too much energy into an Opposing Ideal on the backend in another sneaky fragment called… The Purifier. The influence of this burning or fierce nature deeply urges me and my surroundings to become MUCH BETTER than the current condition, but by using the old habit to conquer everything I see in the way with theoretical impunity! However, today I’m inclined to take a practical New-Age, carnage-free approach while continuing with a level of discretion as part of a long term plan. An extreme example of this is to ultimately put the majority of people into stasis chambers that require minimal energy, so they can have an extravagant virtual reality without knowing any difference. Think of Matrix, but without all the drama.
Create a large catchment first using influence of a greater nature. Then… And only after my grip on power is established, shall I destroy everything impure, but without all the carnage (hence, New-Age). In time, I, along with my world… will remain pure.
Still, there’s that little voice in my head that keeps telling me; “Lee, keep watchful on this… Who knows where it will lead? One man’s purification or mitigation can amount to another man’s genocide — New-Age or not!”
Yes, I’m past the bulk of my problems. But today, I still experience compression between ideas which can prove frustrating.