Influence & Normalisation

I hope this doesn’t put anyone off too much, but I used to love making explosions back in the day (it does sound better than ‘making bombs’). I’d follow a few simple instructions on the new dark web and would Let Her Rip.

Explosion Boom!

Not only did I create a major outward spark, but inwardly, WOW… what a thrill, I remember. What a SPIKE in sensation!

It was the mid 90’s in a small coastal town hours from any major city and things were relaxed. Thankfully on my watch, even though I was only 14, no one got hurt.


The Sparks of Life

Fierce chemical reactions

Chemical reactions continually fire off on the inside, and also, all around me. However, throughout life, many of these processes now appear plain, if not superordinary. Or I cannot zoom in close enough at the cellular level OR out far enough to a planetary perspective to enjoy the spectacular fireworks that our wonderful world has on display. Or if I do, I’ll definitely need the right equipment first!

Influence hitting the senses is what makes my world, My World. As all my input systems work together, the brain adapts, and I come to an overall feeling or sense known as a state. A State of Mind gained by the explosions from chemicals reacting all over the place, including the odd, subtle field beyond the physical landscape that not everyone can sense.

But since many of these reactions have run over long periods, some over my entire life, I barely even notice the effects anymore as each shake-up had finally settled down, normalising into an everyday experience. In fact, these once-mighty spectaculars that no longer captivate, as events that spill from billions of years of life making and breaking,  I can’t help but now take it all for granted. 

Moving From a Sense of Satisfaction to Boredom

<Start Unable to Hold the Positive Charge>

During my speck-of-a-lifetime (compared to Earth’s), I’ve watched and felt my amazement and interest towards numerous things and aspects turn to less satisfaction and normalise. All while I veer off in the hunt for another toy to play with, more sugar to feed on. I’ve seen the less-than-normal, the abnormal and the seriously-above-normal multi-versions, with each potentially carrying  a sense of appeal,  flex and mould into the default-normal I know. Or simply, the boring-old-normal.

Yes, both the less-than-normal and abnormal can also intrigue and grab at my attention. Therefore, my take on ALL VERSIONS of normal nowadays, including anything outside the bounds of normal (up/down/left/right), is extremely dynamic, broad and diverse as the appeal nectar soon drains away, and any attention that was glued on the ‘thing’ or ‘aspect’ in question neutralises.

Meanwhile, I simply hunt for something else to tap into and indulge in as my boring-old-normal junk list grows bigger.

<End Unable to Hold the Positive Charge>

Starting From a Sense of Fear Instead

<Start Unable to Release the Negative Charge>

Also, it goes both ways and can start off differently. A life event can obviously kick off on a negative charge from my perception and I immediately repel against something that pops up which I don’t like. Therefore, I turn and go elsewhere as a result. Because, just as each ‘normal’ version can intrigue and attract, others will translate into an undesirable experience on another side. In which case, a fierce sense of resistance flares up in my fears.

Unfortunately, when I can’t make a bad taste pleasant, or at least neutralise it halfway, tormenting narratives will soon take over the show. For instance, if I feel a certain representation or behaviour causing elevated levels of anxiety from either some ‘thing’ or ‘one’ (in symbolism or a person) potentially taking from me or hurting/belittling me in any way possible (physical or ego), I tense up and lose my natural flow.

Great… Now, I’m stuck on a repulsive powered version of normal which makes me feel uneasy!


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