Discovering the Nature of My Complex
Like everyone, I’m a creature of habit. My programs are made of past influences that are now ingrained within me. These snippets of information have naturally encoded into my “/psychological/conditioning/” mental folder, and a refined version subfolder “../refined/” clearly shows up on my desktop or frontend display for the majority of people to see. The unrefined version, or the full spectrum information of my conditioning, definitely needs to stay hidden as there are still a few heavy or spammy programs I prefer people not to see.
To this day, I continue to latch onto various inputs of stimuli and my attention shifts between each state of mind as I regularly feel my brain chemistry fluctuate.
By the time I reach a high from desiring, I begin shifting course. Soon, I hit pockets of resistance through the feel-bad brain chemistry on the opposite side of the appeal, aka the undesirable field.
Furthermore, in terms of days; i.e., Monday thru Sunday, today, yesterday, and tomorrow, these widely used synchronised human linear programs affect me more so than other words stored in my repository, as they almost always come loaded with desire and fear.
For example, “I have to see such and such on Tuesday, today, or tomorrow”, which ties up desire’s energy in either a good or bad felt way. Or simply, “I can’t wait to try the new thing on Friday, today, or tomorrow”, which pleasantly ties up desire’s energy in only a good felt way. And then the idea of a day or two can feel even better or worse based on what’s tied in with surrounding days. A cluster of bad days can turn the following few normal days into rather nice days. Therefore, either way, I can’t help but live a life controlled by fluctuating positive or negative desire demands through these dominant ‘day’ or ‘days’ top-level ideas.