Today, the best way to know that I’m involved in a neurotic or more volatile mode of thinking (one that’s always setting up the next crash) is to simply observe the waves of sensation during everyday movements─watching my ebb and flow, so to speak. Fortunately, this detection setting is something I don’t have to worry about turning on as it now operates like a mental radar full-time, whether I like it or not.
Not only do I see all of my human interactions in-depth and without choice (i.e., the soft and springy reactions from every party involved), but I also thoroughly catch wind of any one-way inputs that cause different commotions. These include the information derived through mediums such as TV, books, documentaries, radio, etc., or the process of simply reading, watching, or translating any part of the world emanating around me.
Constantly watching the full spectrum of reactionary sensation in one’s life sounds borderline insane as there is so much information to discern. But don’t worry, because soon you’ll reach a point where not only can’t you turn this feature off, but it will run in the background without being such a burden.
As a result of seeing a common ignorance in all of us (some more than others), I no longer beat myself up as much over things that can’t be changed. Fear’s grip on my life has loosened by a few notches, giving me more room in which to breathe and act efficiently.
Sacrificing the Good to End the Bad
With regard to monitoring the up-end side of the scale, detecting a wave lifting me towards that luscious high I was so accustomed to receive and get lost in, I started experimenting by discontinuing the rise to the top in an opposite move. In other words, instead of letting the tap stay on for more flow of the positive sensation, I shut it off by essentially defusing the power in my mind. Straight away, I felt the effects subside which wasn’t desirable for me at all.
There’s something really annoying and uncomfortable about letting go of a pleasant taste that’s ready for the pickings by denying myself the usual meal. However, in order to address the hold that negative inputs had on me, I had a strong feeling I’d first have to understand the hold that positive inputs had on me. Which meant releasing myself from any positive ‘leeching’ to show the gods I was willing to make the sacrifices needed to achieve my goal. I consider these my mental growing pains that have gotten me to where I am today.
Therefore, after a lifetime of acquiring positive reinforcement that hadn’t worked in my favour (aka the undisciplined converting of my psychological energy), which created an ongoing fluctuation that eventually soured my mood, I’m now able to see how I had rationalised a line of toxic behaviour from my past.
Problems first started to show when the small ignorances I accepted in my escapes began leading to larger ones. In turn, this caused the intensity of my positive self-hypnosis to increase exponentially over time. Again, this applies more so for the Highly Sensitive Mind, in case you were wondering what the heck I’m going on about, or why I’m giving the positive force a bad name.
It’s All A Matter of Fact
When the facts of life aren’t valued or are made secondary because they feel too meaningless or plain to matter, it shows I’m heading into a steep Sensation-Driven Reality, and that my short-term rewards will eventually yield long-term consequences. Too much satisfaction and comfort will produce hypnotic effects that end up distorting my vision on the road.
Yet it never used to appear this way, as I once held onto a promising outlook inside the old delusion I was all caught up in (thankfully, this new delusion I’m living in is much healthier). But what I’ve learnt so far over the years is that the proverbial time bomb starts ticking when I severely distance myself from facts.
In fact, nature’s succulents are about to have a field day if I don’t get back on the ground soon. So be warned, Highly Sensitive Person, because entering a steep Sensation-Driven Reality is a hard one to roll back since you won’t want to until it’s too late. Or until you get a big kick in the butt from somewhere.
However, and luckily for most who carry a General Mind, I know you guys can tolerate or manage the process with greater efficiency. Or with at least ONE foot firmly on the ground.
And please, if this is you, believe as much fiction or delusion as you like. I genuinely envy your managed unrealisms of living in another world while maintaining a functional existence in the real world.
But for the Highly Sensitive in the minority field, we are more prone to certain types of stimuli. Thus, managed unrealisms are a luxury we can’t always afford.