Higher Power

Nowadays, however, understanding the belief complex or the God Complex as an object of my affection and authority made an enormous impact in life. Or God as a system of thought (traditionally) since he/she/it clearly excludes the negative by separating from the devil/fear. I.e. An existence without fruit — only, sour 🤢. Of course, both guys/poles must take turns at running the show. We live on a Bi-polar Rock!

Each opposite is ENTIRELY dependent on the other (leveraged!).

So, thankfully, from my solid acknowledgement or clarity, with NO higher power found in polarity, while instead, my ‘juggling of each ends’ to be the real cost, seeing this meant less conflict and stronger relationships in my everyday life. And for once, I’m on steady ground.

But previously or when I first stepped outside conventions, I got stuck lightyears away (one metre =’d a lightyear). I GLUED myself to this chaotic outlook in a heavy narrative that overwhelmed every aspect of existence. So for a while, I had little-to-no hope running frantically through my veins and lived inside fear in an almost fulltime drained position 😨.

Any other short-lived time, I was either high or tranced out on something.

People Often Asked, How the Heck Did He Make It Back to Reality From a Zombie?

I must be clear

I only made back after I turned down a lucrative deal from darker forces in early 2013 which messed with my head (aka the Trojan Host Mainframe {referring to the darker forces and not my head!}). Hidden leverage complicated my situation, leaving a bad taste from an ultimatum I’ve kept to myself.

I had no choice but to get my act together through another odd narrative and plan which got me here. Therefore, I run from this perspective every moment of every day, on the low.

Also, if weren’t for my tendency to always scan ahead, I would’ve accepted the out-there package and life would be far different today. I would’ve filled my pockets, jumped on a plane and lived lavishly short term while burying a few people along the way.

I.e. I would’ve lined up for hell! Except, this time, a much bigger one. 🌋

A Lost Cause

So at one stage, when I was so dulled down in bad foods chemicals and thoughts, barely knowing my left-from-right, not even God himself could have saved me.

I wanted everything to fall in place in terms of finding a higher power to hold onto and learn from. Except, the reality was, I was still too caught up in refining my thoughts. I kept relying on strong short term rewards out of certain words symbols and images I’d recklessly fallen in love with. That is, on top of the heavier chemicals I also enjoyed.

Maintaining my dull and tranced-out escape driven mind was the biggest priority in life, and my God was wherever these  conversions laid. 

Injecting god as belief
1,000ccs of Belief STAT!

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