Nowadays, however, understanding the belief complex or the God Complex as an object of my affection and authority made an enormous impact in life. Or God as a system of thought (traditionally) since he/she/it clearly excludes the negative by separating from the devil/fear. I.e. An existence without fruit — only, sour 😖. Of course, both guys/poles take turns at running the show!
Each opposite is ENTIRELY dependent on the other and gets leveraged.
So, thankfully, from my solid acknowledgement or clarity, with NO higher power found in polarity, while instead, my ‘juggling’ to be the real cost, this meant less conflict and stronger relationships in my everyday life. For once, I’m on steady ground.
Whereas, previously, when I first stepped outside conventions, I got stuck lightyears away. I GLUED myself to a chaotic outlook in a heavy narrative that overwhelmed every aspect. For a while, I had little-to-no hope running frantically through my veins and lived inside fear in an almost fulltime draining position 😨.
Any other short-lived time, I was either high or tranced out on something or another.
People Often Asked, How the Heck Did He Make It Back to Reality?
A Lost Cause
So at one stage, when I was so dulled down in bad foods chemicals and thoughts, barely knowing my left-from-right, not even God himself could have saved me.
I wanted everything to fall in place in terms of finding a higher power to hold onto and learn from. Except, the reality was, I was still too caught up in refining my thoughts. I kept relying on strong short term rewards out of certain words symbols and images I’d recklessly fallen in love with. That is, on top of the heavier chemicals I also enjoyed.
Maintaining my dull and tranced-out escape driven mind was the biggest priority in life, and my God was wherever these conversions laid.